Memories

Once, many, many years ago, I had a Halloween Party. I don't know how old i was but I'm pretty sure we watched Sixteen Candles that night. And i'm also pretty sure that sixteen was still a couple of years away.

I can't say why we watched Sixteen Candles..but if memory serves, it's because the previous movie fucked us up so much that we NEEDED Molly Ringwald and her petty sweet sixteen concerns to take us away from what we'd just experienced. I say petty because we'd just witnessed the gates of hell opening and unleashing images that would be seared on my brain forever. Whatever poor Molly was going through seemed pleasant and a cake walk compared to what I'd just seen.

I had definitely seen my fair share of horror films at that point-I started my career early at the ripe age of 3 or 4. I started out with Universal and Hammer and all kinds of B horror films that were shown on Saturday afternoons. But I had only seen movies edited for television for many years. At some point my grandmother got ON television (an early cable service for those of you that remember) and I began to get exposed to uncut horror films. Friday the 13th, The Howling, My Bloody Valentine, and Happy Birthday to Me are some of the standouts from that period of time. My experience of horror films exploded, and most of these films scared me to death.

A few years later, VHS rental stores began popping up and I started to see more and more films on VHS, with one of my early rental favorites being Creepshow. My sister was my most favored horror movie partner, and we spent many late night weekends while she visited devouring such favorites as One Dark Night, Halloween I and II, the Amityville Horror series, and anything else we could get our hands on. One favorite activity was to watch Jaws late at night and then go swimming in the backyard pool. Even though the odds of a hungry great white lurking in our four foot deep pool were mightily low, there was always an adrenaline rush (tinged with paranoia) when we went out into the dark water after watching our favorite shark eat people.

So by this eventful night I'm refering to, I considered myself to be a seasoned horror vet. They still scared me but I loved pushing myself to watch and be terrified. I don't know if we owned or just rented a VCR for this evening, but it was still at the point where not everyone owned one, and it was kind of a treat for everyone to come over and watch movies on TV.

I don't know who to blame for the decision. I don't recall who picked it. I only remember the horror that continued to unfold....and unfold....in front of my eyes. If I ever find out that any of my girlfriends had to go to therapy because of that night, I wouldn't be surprised. I didn't even know I was about to see my first film of a genre that I would come to know and love even more in the years to come....the Italian Horror Film.

When I saw it, it was called The Gates of Hell. Directed by the great Lucio Fulci.
it started with a priest in a cemetery who hung himself. That was enough to scare me to begin with. Little did I know we had only BEGUN. Then there is a seance- and somehow, someway, this priest's hanging causes all kinds of bad-including the 'death' of a woman who goes into a trance at the seance. (She doesn't really die-watch the movie to see the freaky buried alive scene)

All I got from the plot was -priest hangs himself-bad shit happens. VERY bad shit. Things are breaking, fires are leaping up from nowhere, scary noises going on, all this was enough to freak me out. All I could figure out was this all involved Hell and the Gates leading to it.
People started becoming zombies. there were worms and maggots and all kinds of funky nasty, bloody, slimy, decomposing things.


Then....what I could have never imagined in my wildest horror movie imaginings happened.
It just happened...and happened....and we screamed and yelled but it just kept happening...and I couldn't keep my eyes off it.
A zombie approaches a car with a young man and woman in it- he looks at the woman and her eyes begin to bleed...bad enough but then she began to foam bloody foam at the mouth.....and THEN began to vomit up her intestines and stomach. it felt like it went on for an eternity. I couldn't believe that someone actually put this on film, and yes, I was watching it.
I can't prove this, but I bet you-we rewound it.

Oh-another fun fact-this is not just an empty fake head forced to spew intestines (although there is one shot which appears to be just that) it is, shot after shot, of the ACTUAL actress letting the viscera pour out of her mouth. (I've read they used pig intestines for the shot. Fun!)



So after we recovered from that, we were treated to yet another new type of imagery -behold


The drilling of the head. Now, I'm sure with all the slasher films I'd seen up to that point, I had seen SOME person's head impaled with SOME kind of power tool or fascimle thereof. But- and here's the HUGE difference-I had never seen the Italians impale SOME person's head with SOME kind of power tool. The citizens of Italy could make shirts- Impaling Heads With Power Tools-We Do It Better, Longer, and We'll Show You The Whole Damn Thing. Don't Worry, You Won't Miss a Bloody, Gory Minute. Ok, maybe they'd need to use the back of the shirt for that one.

My point is (and I've said this before) is that with most American horror (especially mainstream) you will see the implement, the stabbing motion, the cutaway, and then the implement pulling away. With the Italians, you see the implement, and the camera FOLLOWS the implement as it makes contact and impales the victim. You'll probably even see it twisted and poked around in there for good measure. (Herschell Gordon Lewis also did this, but I hadn't been introduced to that particular love of my life yet. )

so in this fun scene, you see it ALL. I'm only surprised that they didn't have the guy open his mouth and let the viewer watch the drill pass through the back of his mouth. I'm sure if they could have figured out a way to do this, they would have.

The end of the movie was confusing- after all we'd been through, we really needed closure. But it was not to be found.

I recently bought this film. It's easily been fifteen years since I saw this film. I own most films that influenced me in childhood, so this omission was especially strange. It has to be because I was just the tiniest bit scared to witness this all again. But, because I have a fairly small collection of Italian's finest by Bava, Fulci, and Argento- this was a glaring omission that needed to be filled. And so it has.
I give you-The City of The Living Dead
I could research the difference in titles but I'm too lazy. One thing I do know is that many Italian films were for many years only available in heavily edited versions. I can attest that Gates of Hell was not edited for gore. I was hoping that maybe someone decided to cut out major plot points of the film I saw. No such luck. Even with age and a college degree on my side, the only plot synopsis I can offer still is: Priest Hangs Self. Bad shit Happens. and Happens. and Happens More.

But I faced my demons, I watched the maggots and the slime and the vomiting and the drilling scene by scene and didn't even blink. I found the film to be creepily charming in that Italian way. I loved the hokey music (GOD how I love cheesy horror movie music -it makes me feel all warm and toasty inside) and I'm glad I bought this film so I can watch it AGAIN. I enjoyed it and not just because of the nostalgia factor in revisiting this again.

I did some research on IMDB, mostly looking for pictures, and I found this gem. IMDB contains a parental warning on this movie, with a link you can click on. And nice old IMDB will tell you every reason a child shouldn't see this movie. Here is a portion of the list: (my comments are in red, the rest is copied directly from IMDB- and the typos are theirs, not mine)

We see a couple making out while in a parked car.
You're gonna wish all they did was make out.

Several mild refrences to sex and/or rape.

Some uses of the word "Sh*t" and other milder profanities.
I really HATE when people use the word 'Sh*t', it's soooooooooo offensive.

A man tends a bar. We never actually see anyone drink, but we see beer. There are also several refrences to being drunk.
No-not ACTUAL REFERENCES TO BEING DRUNK!!!!!!!!!!

There are quite a few "jump" scenes.
'Jump' scenes in a horror movie require a warning???? Aren't they pretty much considered part and parcel?

The scenes mentioned in the violence/gore catagory can be considered frightening.
haha

The gore in this movie is quite sickening and therefore disturbing.
HAHAHAHAHA

We see a man hang himself.

The movie has a dark, gothic tone.
Again-in a horror movie-how unusual.

A woman cries tears of blood before vomiting up her own intestines.
Wait, what???

A man is drilled through the head.

Several zombies are stabbed with weapons.

A man hangs himself.

what slays me about this list is they take the time to mention that people talk about drinking and they may even mention sex (and for God's sake, you might see an actual beer in the movie-although nobody will be drinking it), people will be saying the dreaded 'Sh*t' word, and then they just sliiiiiiiiiiiiiide in there that a woman will be vomiting up her entire digestive system. Then they just finish the list. Like, oh by the way, yeah, it's gothic, disturbing, you might jump, and then (with covered mouth) a woman vomits up her intestines. Don't you think they could have covered any and all parental warnings by just saying: "A woman will be vomiting up her intestines after crying tears of blood. No joke. It's pretty f**king nasty. If this doesn't sound like good cinematic fun to you, you might want to rent The Lion King 2. P.S. We're not kidding'

-Love and Pig Intestines,
Mother Firefly

My Year of Free Movies

Every year I enter every Oscar contest I can find. Last Feb I kept putting it off because I was busy with school...until it was the day of, and by the time I got around to doing it, most of them were past the deadline. Except for....the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel. There were only six categories and I got them all correct. The prize-free movies for a year. It took them till mid April to send me my pass, and it's good through April 2009.

Papa Cash and I have used the opportunity to go to every film we can, and we have seen almost everything that has come out since then. There are small caveats, we can't use it on Saturdays, and we can't use it on movies that don't allow passes....which means we can't see them until they've been out for two weeks. It's also only good for the Marcus Theaters, and the Times and the Rosebud, which means for the most part, mainstream films. This is what we've done with it so far:

April: The Ruins, Smart People

May: Shine A Light, Run Fat Boy Run, Harold and Kumar Escape Guantanamo Bay, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Iron Man (twice), What Happens In Vegas, Baby Mama

June: Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, The Chronicles of Narnia:Prince Caspian (this was a slow month for us for whatever reason)

July: The Happening, Get Smart, You Don't Mess With the Zohan, Incredible Hulk, Hellboy 2, WALL-E, Wanted, Hancock

August: Mamma Mia, The X-Files (I Want to Believe), Stepbrothers, The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Pineapple Express

We try to see just about everything with some exceptions. We skipped Sex in the City (I never watched the show and didn't really care), The Love Guru (because it didn't play long and I never heard anything good about it), and most of the movies meant for a younger audience like the movie about the traveling pants and things like that. A couple of things we wanted to see were pulled just as the two weeks ended (not fair!) and sometimes we couldn't make it because of scheduling conflicts (Prom Night, The Strangers)

This has been a really fun experience, even though it takes planning on our parts to be able to even make it there -our schedules just don't match up sometimes. I'm not going to go back now and tell you what I thought of these movies but I'll probably mention them as we see them and talk a little bit about what I thought about them. One thing to note-since this is free and a dream come true prize for me, generally I go into things with zero expectations and for the most part, I have fun with it.



For instance, The Mummy -which I saw two nights ago. I think I might have seen the first one, but I don't remember enjoying it. If it weren't for the pass, I wouldn't have went to see it, and I probably wouldn't have rented it, either. I could really rip it apart if I was in the right mood. I'll probably never see it again. But it was entertaining for the most part, it was a fun night out, and Brendan Fraser took off his shirt for ten seconds so we could all see how much he enjoys lifting weights. I wouldn't have minded him sharing that a second, or a third time in the movie, but hey, we always have NAKED JAVIER BARDEM to console us if we get too bummed out.

But my point is that I tend to just go and have fun and not think about it too hard. I have to think about a lot of other things too hard for most of the year. And if I'm watching movies at home, I tend to put more thought into them, especially if they're horror movies.

We also saw Pineapple Express tonight.



I like Seth Rogen. I think that Papa Cash found it sometimes more amusing than I did, just like Superbad. But it was funny and I'd probably watch it again when he eventually buys it. Although at one point some f***er propped up his foot on the seat ahead of him and decided to do the 'leg jiggle' throughout the last half hour of the movie. Papa Cash must have been just far away enough not to feel the reverberations that were pounding into my back, so I eventually got up and sat on the other side of him, where thankfully I couldn't feel it any more. What was even more annoying was as the action intensified, so did the leg jiggle. When it got really crazy onscreen, it was like a damn machine gun. Then as the action slowed down-so did the leg jiggle. At that point I was actually wishing that Ritalin was prescribed MORE than it already is, because they obviously missed one.

ps-for anyone who missed out on 'naked javier bardem' day, just google that phrase inside the quotes and you'll see what I mean....wink wink nudge nudge.....

-Love and happy Googling,
Mother Firefly

Gilbert and George Day

Today Papa Cash and I went to the Milwaukee Art Museum to see the Gilbert and George exhibit.

I've probably seen a half dozen exhibits at MAM, and this was probably my favorite. Everything was huge, colorful, and I didn't have to shuffle around people to get a look. You could stand in the middle of the room and see everything from there. If you live in Milwaukee and you like your art to be in bold primary colors and bigger than your living room wall, I encourage you to see the show before it leaves Sept 1st. I'll guarantee it'll be better for your psyche than to go see the new $80,000 statue of a TV character that's just been forced upon us.

I also had a couple of other firsts today. I bought my first pair of Crocs and my first Neti pot. I have wanted a pair of Crocs for a long time, but stupid nursing school tradition dictates we wear white tennis shoes, which is annoying as hell. God forbid I be comfortable.

Anyway, I went to Whole foods today for the purpose of getting my Neti pot, and ran smack into a display of Crocs. I could not resist. Lately I have been reading a lot of backlash about Crocs -mainly that they are ugly and unfashionable. did this deter me? No, it made me want to buy them even MORE. Then I came home and put them on.

OHFORTHELOVEOFJEBUS DAMNARETHEYCOMFORTABLE. You whom are already proud owners of Crocs are smiling, nodding, and thinking, hells yeah, we just pulled another one over to the dark side. My feet immediately started thanking me profusely, and I said, you're welcome feet, thanks for almost 40 years of hard work, you deserve it. Then I started to think of all the pain and foot cramping that could have been avoided this summer if I'd had these wonderful inventions supporting me through 24 hours a week of clinicals this summer. But-instead i will focus on the fact that I only have 8 WEEKS OF UNDERGRADUATE clinicals left before I move on next year to leave my stupid white uniform and shoes behind.

Back to my Neti pot......

This is the Neti-well, not my actual Neti, but very close.

If you don't already know what a Neti pot is, you can read about it here.
http://www.healingdaily.com/exercise/neti-pot.htm

If you do, skip that. I have bought one and am going to give it a try because....I HAVE NOT BREATHED CORRECTLY OR EASILY THROUGH MY DAMN NOSE ALL FREAKING SUMMER. it's either been because of allergies, or a couple of fun colds I managed to catch at clinicals. I am tired of taking allergy and cold medicine because 1) I don't like taking so many pills all the time, and 2)they're not really helping all that much anyway.

Unless people are lying, these fun contraptions are supposed to actually work. I have read you can do this up to three times a day-and I am planning on that-hoping that it will improve the situation. When and if it does, then I will probably go back to once or twice a day-depending on if it's a clinical day for me, or if it's cold and flu season. If it doesn't work- well, then I will maybe grow a plant in it. Or something. At any rate, I haven't read anything that says it can hurt me. I know that I need to use non-iodized salt, and I did buy the neti-salt to use with it. My pot didn't come with any in the box. I know some do. Oh btw it was 14.99 - a small price to pay if this works like I've heard it does. I will keep you posted and let you know how I'm breathing. Today, with no medication, I would rate my breathing at a 5 out of 10. (With 0 meaning-thank god i have a mouth or I wouldn't be getting any oxygen to 10 meaning-no obstruction at all (I barely remember those days).

Well, time to go Neti-
Mother Firefly

My Brother Made Me Do It

Starting a new blog wasn't on my list of things to do during my two weeks of vacation. In fact, this is what I had planned for my vacation:





Yes, I was going to sit around in way too much eyeliner, put on my high heels, place my finger in my mouth thoughtfully, and pretend to study for the NCLEX while I watched horror movie after horror movie.

But then my brother sent me his new blog and told me I had to make one too. So here I am.

Who am I? I'm a full time nursing student in Milwaukee.

This is a second degree for me. I can't say 'second career' since the first degree never actually led to a 'career' of any kind. Actually, it's a second, and a third degree, since almost all the RN requirements are finished, and this semester I'll be simultaneously finishing those and beginning the Master's requirements at the same time. It's been a very challenging and demanding program, but I think I've finally adjusted to it after a year. Or maybe I just succumbed and my old life was so long ago, I no longer remember it. Anyway, that's enough about school right now. I'm on vacation, bitches!

I live with my beloved and handsome SO, Papa Cash. So named because he's been supporting the two of us and our cats entirely on his own since I've been in this program. Someday soon (December 2009!) I'll have a full time job again and then I can be Mama Firefly-Cash.

I also live with the Pussycat Squad, Ash, Nissa, and Puff. More on them in other postings.

That's about it for now. Right now I'm going back to relaxing and watching something bad for me.

-Mother Firefly