Hello my loves! I'm back and ready to recommend yet another holiday favorite. You've already watched my first three recommendations, correct?
This is going to be a short and sweet post- seeing as though I'm already behind and if you're caught up with my blog, you know what else I'm up against.....
Suggestion #3: The Blob featuring Steve McQueen as the world's oldest teenager. Frickin' LOVE this film. This is one that really scared me in my pre-kindergarten days. Red jelly that spreads and eats your flesh and you can't get it off no matter what. SCARY!
This town is in danger, Steve says. And I believe him!
And so we go on to movie #4: Y'all need some Romero in your life. Just trust me on this one. AND you'll be prepared for what else I have in store for you all the rest of this month.
This is yet another classic in the public domain, so you can find it various places - but I've seen a TON of shitty transfers, so I implore you to rent it someplace like Netflix or Blockbuster and see the movie as God and George Romero intended.
Until tomorrow.....sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite..... Love, Mother Firefly
Hello, friends, fans, and family! I am BACK. I have been meaning to get back here for a couple weeks- in fact, I have a partly finished movie review sitting in my unfinished blogs.
But nursing school and clinicals have taken priority every day, and I never seem to find the moment when I'm 'caught up' and have time to actually sit down and do something I enjoy, which is writing this blog.
I'm not even caught up as I write this- in fact, I was just sitting and staring at my list of all the fun and interesting projects that are needing my attention RIGHT THIS FRIGGIN' SECOND.
A little sample of all the things I COULD be doing right now: -start my critique of a systematic review on the uses of honey and oncology care; -write Part I of my paper on the role of an Advanced Practice Nurse in wound care; -research glomerulornephritis - acute and chronic, causes and pathogenesis; -fill out my NCLEX paperwork -rehearse my part of a group powerpoint presentation on the Chronic Care Model and the role of an Advanced Practice Nurse; -start on one of two other group presentations on nursing theory or interventions. -read a bunch of articles and nursing texts for next week; -or two or three other things that are escaping me right now -Or I could just do this:
but I prefer this: I took a shower, threw some chocolate chip cookies in the oven, and made a pomegranate martini. Papa Cash is off at work tonight, so without his tallness I was forced to pull up a chair and climb up on the counter to retrieve my pomegranate martini mix and my vodka. Yes, climbing on the kitchen counters for booze like an alcoholic four year old.
And what has happened in the last half hour of not thinking about nursing school or homework or other boring responsibilities is that my mind has CLEARED. Yes, dearies, focus has returned! And now I know what it is that I must do. Now that October is here, it is my absolute duty to provide my friends and family a whole list of movies for this wonderful month.
In fact, I'm challenging myself to recommend a new movie each and every day.
That's 31 movies for your Halloween Viewing Pleasure.
And I'm already three days behind!!!!
Let's get started, shall we?
October 1:
I have a HUGE spot in my lil black heart that is reserved for Vincent Price. I've been watching him all my life. In fact- I don't ever remember NOT knowing who Vincent "Vinny the P' was. And I don't remember a time when seeing Vincent Price, even at his most evil, didn't make me feel all safe and warm inside. It's hard for me to pick a favorite Vincent Price film because I love them all. But if I had to pick one that I always want to watch around Halloween, this one might be it. Not only is it made by the great William Castle, it's creepy, well acted, a lot of fun and Vincent is charming and impossible to take your eyes off from even as he plots to kill his wife- right in front of her, of course.
I can't find an actual trailer, but I can find part 1-the first six minutes- of the movie. It's in the public domain, so you can either watch the rest of it on Youtube (which I sincerely hope you will NOT) or you can probably find this movie for sale for under five bucks. Or download it from a number of places online that have public domain movies.
October 2: Last year I forgot it was Halloween. No joke. I was on the bus on my way to school (so I'd already been up a couple of hours) when I realized it was Halloween. And I went, huh, and went on with my day. This year someone must have wanted to remind me early since I got this little gem from one of my friends at MySpace, Herschell Gordon Lewis, along with a quote from him.
Thursday, October 02, 2008
HGL classics to air on Turner Movie Classics
From the Gorefather himself ...
"Proof that old schlock never dies:
Turner Classic Movies has scheduled both "Blood Feast" and "Two Thousand Maniacs" for late-night viewing on Halloween. Those who stay up past midnight deserve what they get. "
2:30 AMBlood Feast (1963) - An Egyptian priest uses human sacrifice to bring back his goddess. Cast: William Kerwin, Mal Arnold, Connie Mason. Dir: Herschell Gordon Lewis. C-67 mins,
3:45 AMTwo Thousand Maniacs! (1964) - Travelers stumble on a Southern town out for revenge for losing the Civil War. Cast: William Kerwin, Connie Mason, Jeffrey Allen. Dir: Herschell Gordon Lewis.
C-87 mins,
Yippee! How cool to see HG Lewis make it to the horrorfest on Turner Classic Movies. check out the schedule, they've got a great lineup for Halloween and the day before.
since I already reviewed Two Thousand Maniacs, I'll just say a little bit about Bloodfeast and make that my pick for
October 2nd.
First of all, let's allow Joe Bob Briggs and Bill Kerwin to make the introduction:
And here is my favorite scene and a perfect example of why I love this movie so much
OMG. .....an EGYPTIAN FEAST???.....( cue music ) It doesn't get more precious than that.
Now I'm one day behind.....look for Oct 3 and 4th tomorrow and that should catch us up!
It's only week four of this term and I'm already burnt out! If my informal survey of the rest of the class is accurate, we're all burnt out. We've been going more than full time for the last year.....and I fer one am tired!
So I reviewed my clinical materials for tomorrow while a very uplifting and morale raising film played in the background.
did I mention it was morale raising?
Uplifting?
Consider my morale raised AND uplifted.
Never fear my loves, I'll be back bloggin' again shortly.
Now hand me that pomegranate martini and move away from in front of my television.
Mother F has to focus and concentrate to make sure I get every LAST NUANCE out of this fine piece of film.
Nursing school. The first semester kicked my ass. I never EVER cried over an assignment until that first semester. When the second semester started, I felt better - not great-but better. There was, however, that first day of clinical when I was in my stupid white nursing uniform and actually thought (I kid you not) maybe I'll get hit by a bus before next Friday comes and I'll be dead and I won't have to come back here.
But as you have probably surmised, I did not get hit by a bus, I did go back, and I survived. For the most part, I have learned to live with the stress, the constant homework, and the lack of time to do most things I enjoy. Like the freedom to nap on the couch without a to-do list and planner laying next to me.
But then it seems just when I am feeling good, like I can do this, I'm capable, and I can handle it- the powers that be always seem to throw me a curve ball. This time it was a packet of papers in the mail- papers exactly like what we filled out a year ago before we started our first clinicals. Proof of recent physical, immunizations, background check, things you would expect.
The FIRST time they did this, they ended up sending us multiple forms that all asked for the same things but in different ways. So I went to the office (thinking that nursing students start clinicals EVERY semester and this is paperwork they collect CONSTANTLY and they'll know which ones I should take to the health center to get filled out.
Ha. Ha.
Nobody knew what I was talking about. Nobody knew what paperwork I should have the health center fill out. Nobody knew what would be acceptable as far as proof that I'd had my immunizations. It was amazing for a nursing school that has been around for 30 years? 40 years? that I felt like I was the first nursing student they'd ever had.
Anyway.....cut to this week and this form letter with a list of things I need to provide before my graduate clinicals start. The same EXACT things I provided less than a year ago. Also with a note on the bottom to check with the office if you've been a student in the last TEN YEARS because they may have health info on file.
So, I'm thinking, well, sure they do. I just gave it to them and they need to have that available as I'M CURRENTLY IN A CLINICAL AS WE SPEAK and they need to be able to tell my clinical site, yes, she has her immunizations, and her TB test, etc.
Important information you would think that the people who run this office would know how to locate if asked to do so.
You would think.
I made the mistake of doing EXACTLY what the paperwork said and went to find out what they 'had on file' , thinking well, everything.
'I don't know', 'What letter', 'Who wrote it?' and 'Can I see it?'
Then they decided that yes, I had to turn it in again. I had my health folder with me with all my proof of every time they stuck a needle in me. I told them they could make copies. Again. Which they did and then told me that they should get the originals.
Uh, sure, so you can take just as good of care of them as you did the FRIGGING COPIES I GAVE YOU LESS THAN A YEAR AGO.
I told them that they could keep the copies and that I wasn't giving up my originals.
I then went upstairs to write the person in charge that they also tried to get me to talk to, who they said wasn't in. I was so angry and and so frustrated that my first attempt was probably going to get me kicked out of nursing school, so I scrapped it. Went out and had a cigarette, calmed down- but ultimately decided that I wasn't ready to write this email and decided to call the health center and make appointments to get a new physical and TB test instead.
Later one of my colleagues tried a different approach after I related my story- and called the person we were referred to- who finally came to the conclusion that we only need to repeat the TB test because that needs to be updated once a year.
Which is FRIGGIN FINE. JUST TELL ME WHAT THE GODDAMN RULES AND REGULATIONS ARE AND I'LL FOLLOW THEM. DON'T SIT HERE AND GUESS AND TELL ME JUST TO GET 'EVERYTHING' BECAUSE YOU'RE EITHER TOO DUMB OR LAZY TO GET ME A REASONABLE ANSWER THAT MAKES SENSE.
On to better news:
1) I am going to the Crocs! outlet store in just two days;
and
2) I heart my Neti Pot. I said I heart it. I have been successfully breathing out of my nose ever since I got it. After literally months of not being able to. Another fun bonus is that I get headaches when the weather changes- especially in the spring-when we go from cool days to warm, sunny ones. We had two days like that in the last two weeks when it cooled down and then suddenly warmed back up. Headache all day. Until I did the NP. Headache instantly gone. and the last one I had taken ibuprofen earlier in the day which did nothing but dull it a little. Go, Sinus Irrigation!
It's almost 3 am late Saturday night.....or very early Sunday morning....call it what you will...as I start to write this. I have been working diligently since my last blog on nursing school assignments....doing double duty and working ahead, since I will going away next weekend.
I will be stopping at the Crocs outlet store (!) and then on to Madison with Papa Cash to hang out, do some shopping, and then head to the farmer's market at the capitol where it will undoubtedly rain....as it does everytime I go.
I could head to bed, or I could do even more homework, or I could ponder why one of my cats is standing on the table on his back legs and howling at the clock on the wall..or whatever it is he sees up there. I could even tell you about the cute film I watched tonight with Papa Cash, Miss Pettigrew Lives for A Day.
I could do any of those things. But what I really WANT to do is put on a facial mask and soak my feet kick back and bask in the glory of...
CRAZY. FAT. ETHEL. so I slapped on my cucumber balancing mask and then I slapped in my new ONE DOLLAR AND THIRTY ONE CENTS dvd trilogy. Scrolling through the dvd screens I suddenly discover that all these films were made by a gentleman named Nick Phillips. Seems as though I just bought the Nick Phillips collection and didn't even know it.
Well, Howdeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Learn somethin' new every day.
So the movie begins with a woman in a mental institution.....she is being held down for an injection.....I guess this is where the 'CRAZY' part comes in. Then they give her some shock treatments....dang, she must be crazy! Then the doctor discharges Ethel to her grandmother, explains she needs to keep having shock treatments, and that she needs to lose weight to cut down on the strain on her heart....because she's, you know, FAT.
So Ethel gets home and commences to eat. And eat. And eat some more. You know, because she's Crazy. And Fat.
Then Grandma decides it's time to lay down the law and locks up all the food. Ethel doesn't take this news real well.
Bye, Grandma.
Then it's time to drag the body upstairs, raid her money supply, and call to order groceries.
I'm not kidding.
Watching all this food consumption makes me think of another horror movie about uncontrolled eating.
Death Bed. The Bed That Eats.
but we'll save that story for another day, because it's TOO precious to share space with another movie.
Ethel doesn't have enough money to pay the grocery delivery boy, so she has to kill him and put him upstairs in the bedroom with Grandma. Then she can do what she loves best. Pretty soon her sister comes to live with her, and then sister's slimy BF, and eventually everyone starts noticing there's an awfully bad smell coming from Grandma's bedroom...who's supposedly gone visiting a friend.
Well, it doesn't take a genius to figure out whoever gets in the way of Ethel eating....will be at the business end of her hatchet before long.
And so the movie goes for a whole 70 minutes. Anytime a movie is 85 minutes or less, it's automatically bumped up a notch in my book.
I told Papa Cash once that I'd almost like to be President of the US just so I could make a law that all movies must be 85 minutes or less. (I have trouble sitting still for longer than that). Anyway, Papa Cash said if I did that, he'd make a three hour movie just to piss me off. I said I'd put him in jail for breaking my law. He said he'd turn it into a three hour documentary about how I jailed him for making a movie too long.......
And that is only part of the story about how Papa Cash is trying to drive me slowly insane.
Anyway.....for some closing thoughts about Ethel.....it was certainly the kind of thing I enjoy spending my Saturday night/Sunday morning watching, and it was worth its whole 1/3rd of $1.31. And if you ever find yourself pondering, 'I wonder how much eating and killing can happen in one movie?' Then by all means, check it out. You can even borrow mine, since Crazy Fat Ethel hasn't signed it. Well, not yet, anyway.
So to my friends and family who are actually taking precious moments out of their busy lives to read this blog-I hope I'm not driving you crazy with my reviews of bad and obscure movies that you never really wanted to see anyway. But nursing school is hard work, dudes, and I don't have a lot of opportunity or funds, for that matter, to escape due dates or reading assignments or clinicals.....so when I'm able to say, hey, I did enough work for the day....and want to watch a film......I want something that totally takes me out of my reality and also makes me feel warm and cozy inside. I suppose if I were a different person I might watch things like Pretty Woman, or When Harry Met Sally, and things like that. But love stories bore me and make me cranky.I need dark, scary, and creepy to make me feel like everything is all right in my world.
Probably some day soon I will write about how this horror movie craziness began for me- and then maybe some of you will understand why I am like this-and you still won't care about bad movies-but you'll see why cheesy scary music and monsters make me feel all warm and happy...and why Lily Munster was the TV mom I loved, not that dumb ass Carol Brady.
It's late and I need to rest....so i can get up and commence to the homeworkin' once again. Love and Creepiness, Mother Firefly
As a lifelong horror movie fan, I have many favorite directors in the genre. George Romero is high on my list -having directed my favorite movie of all time, Dawn of the Dead. Other favorites include Dario Argento, David Cronenberg, Ted V.Mikels, Tod Browning, William Castle, Roger Corman.....we could be here all day. As much as I love the work of all these men- there is one and ONLY one whose name makes my little black heart swell with love and fondness-the only one who I could not only do a entire weekend marathon of all his films, but I'd listen to all the commentary tracks too- and I'd be ready to do the whole thing over the next weekend.
Herschell. Gordon. Lewis. aka The Godfather of Gore. I actually find it hard to put into words to explain how much I love this man and his films. I know that my commentary tends to be of the sarcastic variety, but make no mistake that I am not even coming CLOSE to joking when I tell you that I have loved and worshipped this man and his work for well over half my life. I've decided that every once in a while, I'll dedicate a page of my blog to a different HG Lewis film. Because I can, and I want to. And who knows, maybe I'll make him a couple of new fans along the way.
Perhaps I should begin with telling you about how we met.Back in the VHS craziness days (which I kind of eluded to in my post about the Gates of Hell) my mother opened a video store. In order to increase inventory without actually spending money, my mom traded videos with another video store owner in another town. We'd take her 10 or 20 movies, and then take 10 or 20 movies from her store. I probably don't even have to ask you to guess what section I always made selections from.
One lucky day, we chose a video called Terror on Tape.
The way I remember the 'story' is that a man goes into a video store and asks for a scary movie. The clerk, played by Cameron Mitchell, proceeds to show him clip after clip of the bloodiest, most disturbing things he has in the store. All I remember about the customer is that he gets more and more scared, and his hair starts turning white. Not only were these clips gory, they were from some of the most low budget offbeat films I'd ever heard of. My favorite parts were the clips from two movies called Bloodfeast and Two Thousand Maniacs. The best part was that this video store that we borrowed from happened to have both.
Two Thousand Maniacs was the first film I ever saw by H.G. It's low budget to be sure, cheesy, but I LOVED it. It had this certain 'look' that I loved - and one that I have loved in every one of his films I have seen after. Love him or hate him- H.G. gots himself a STYLE.
This is the first ten minutes of 'The Incredibly Strange Film Show', a TV show I discovered in college (the first time) and watched every week. This particular show features H.G., and if you watch through the first two minutes and 15 seconds, you'll see three people talk briefly about H.G., (including John Waters, and in my book, if John Waters speaks well about you, that's a ringing endorsement) and then you'll see a brief scene-not gory- where a woman apparently discovers something off camera that horrifies her. If her reaction (and the reactions of the women around her) make you laugh hysterically like me, then maybe you're a closet fan of the H. to the G. to the Lewis.
Back to Two Thousand Maniacs..... The basic plot to this movie is that every 100 years a small southern town rises from the grave and gets to kill 6 unsuspecting northerners that they trap while riding through their town. Two of the people are played by Connie Mason and William Kerwin (who apparently has had car trouble and Connie has offered him a ride to the next town) and two other couples who have managed to get trapped in the town.
Of course, not all the couples are going to get to leave the centennial party. One lucky girl <------ gets her arms cut off and then cooked as barbeque. One of my favorite parts comes after they've cooked her over the fire and then chowed down....then taken her drunken husband (who presumably chowed down on wifey bbq) out to be drawn and quartered.....good old fashioned Southern fun! For some reason, watching the guy get ripped apart gives the townfolk second thoughts....for a minute they seem solemn and possibly questioning their fun and games...when one of the hillbillies starts yelling, Let's hear some music! You know what happens to anyone who backs out!" (Actually we don't, but plot points, schmlot points) Quietly, the band begins to slowly play Dixie.....and soon the whole town is joining in, clapping hands, smiling....ah yes....the mood is renewed and we're ready to get back to killin' ....I won't say anything else about how or what happens to the rest of our friends.....
I'll leave that in case of the very small chance I've inspired you to go watch this film.
In case you're curious, here's the trailer.
BTW, if I've made you want to actually see the film, you can't borrow mine. Sorry. That's because it's autographed by the man himself and it rarely leaves its protective plastic wrapper, let alone my home. Yes, I met H.G. Lewis. He did not disappoint. He was kind, gracious, polite....a gentleman in every way. I even got to pose with him, and as my friend and I came behind the table to stand for the photo, he said, "Let me stand between the two lovelies." Sigh.
A couple years later I was reminiscing about this historical meeting and surfing H.G's official website. I discovered his email address and decided to take a chance and send him an email. I mentioned the meeting and how wonderful he was to me. I was also in the middle of watching my new set of H.G. films and mentioned how much I loved She-Devils on Wheels, a film I knew to be among his personal favorites. I never believed I'd get a response, let alone the one I got:
"Another blog I've only recently discovered, Mother Firefly's posts have a unique and lighthearted tone that simply put me in a good mood. Couple that with good writing and subject matter and you've got an underrated blog well worth the read."-Emily from The Deadly Doll's House of Horror Nonsense
Mother Firefly is, quite simply, an über cool lady and her blog is a delicious den of horrifying goodness. Love her. - Jinx from Totally Jinxed
