Tartu Take Me Away

Well, the holidays are half over......and the biggest reason to celebrate, my BIRTHDAY, was yesterday. I got three of the best b-day presents EVER.

1. My first Living Dead Doll. I have wanted one of these for years, and my mother got me one for my b-day. Behold Miss Alison Crux:

She's spooooooooooooooky. And I love her. Her job is to help souls cross over to the other side. I hope she does it quietly, because I need my sleep. And let me assure you I speak from experience when I tell you that a portal in your house does not make for sleepless nights.



2. The BEST BLANKET IN THE ENTIRE WORLD from my wonderful SO, Papa Cash. Courtesy of a last minute run to Sam's club on my B-day. It's plush and softer than anything you can believe, and......
IT IS ELECTRIC. Which means it brings the warm. And, as anything in my house that brings the warm, like sunshine, Papa Cash when he's sleeping (the man could solve the energy crisis, I swear), it also brings the kitties. It also has a automatic two hour shut off, so I don't have to worry about being a dork and leaving it on. Bring on the cats and the snuggling!
Seriously.....any of you who are partial to warmness and softness ....RUN, do not walk to Sam's club and get ONE before they're gone.



3. Hellboy II on Blu-Ray. Anyone who knows me has heard me say at least ONCE that I think Hellboy I is one of the most romantic movies ever. I heart the big red guy big time. On New Year's Eve, Papa Cash and I have a tradition that includes cocktails, food, and movies....he picks one, I pick one, and we pick one together. For many years our pick 'together' was Moulin Rouge. But it fell out of favor a couple of years ago.....maybe we got tired of the green fairy? We'll see what the other two picks turn out to be, but I already know what mine is.......bring on Red and the Baby in Hi-Def...and Mad Props to my man Ron Perlman.....
Sigh.....

We also went to dinner at RuYi's, which is an Asian restaurant in Potawatomi. I all but break out in hives when I'm in a casino....any casino....It's like I can smell the desperation.....but I will go to one of my least favorite places on earth to eat here.
RuYi's

The spring rolls and potstickers are HEAVEN. I usually can take or leave spring and/or egg rolls, but these spring rolls are out of this world. We had an interesting experience with the waitress....I imagine that she's been bitched out by more than one customer who didn't know what they were ordering.....with anything we ordered, she said some variation on 'You know what that is, right?' in a kind of timid way that seemed like she expected to be kicked as a response. We assured her we did understand that spring rolls were cold, not deep fried....and also assured her when we ordered our entrees that 'curry' meant the dish was in some kind of LIQUID, and again at the end when I ordered a bubble tea to go that I was completely aware that it came with pieces of TAPIOCA in it. She was completely friendly and a great server....I just have to wonder how many times she's heard....'Hey lady, there's some kind of big black chewy things in my drink!!!' by someone who just spent their paycheck on the slots. (BTW, I highly recommend the strawberry bubble tea.....but get it to go for dessert and maybe split it.....if you try to drink it with your meal, you'll feel you need to be rolled out of there) So if you live in Milwaukee, head on over some time...just remember your waitress may be suffering from PTSD.....and be gentle.

One other thing of note happened yesterday....my good friend and gentlest of gentle souls, Mr. Chance went to foster care yesterday. I drove him to Racine where a wonderful woman who works with a foster care there picked him up. He was due today to be neutered and get the rest of his vaccinations, etc. It was a bittersweet day. He definitely needed a REAL home, better than I could give him under the circumstances....(three cats, two that love each other, one that thinks all other cats should DIE)....I am full up with cats already. Believe me, if there'd been ANY way possible, he'd have stayed with me. But it was still sad and I cried when I realized that night he wasn't downstairs anymore.....in the last few weeks he'd learned a new trick.. when I walked away, he'd chase after me and try to 'capture' me with his paws....

I also had brought him upstairs a few times in the last few weeks (with the other cats hidden away) to hang out with me on the couch and see where the big people lived. I had to wrap him in a towel because he'd shake and hide his head for a little while...and then slowly start to peek out to see what was going on.....after a little while he'd finally relax and stretch out on my lap and purr and love on me. the first time he saw a feather toy, he jumped....I don't know if he'd ever had toys before. I tried to explain all this in the bio I wrote for him....whoever takes him will need to spend a lot of time and give him a lot of love and reassurance as he adjusts to being a house cat again...

We also had a couple of people over to dinner the night before he left, so I brought him in to see how he'd do. He was a complete and total flirt with my friend, pawing at her and trying his best to get off my lap and onto hers- but she's very allergic to cats so we couldn't let him do that. But it was good to see that he was friendly and outgoing with other people....I just know whoever meets him will fall in love and he'll get a home in no time. I just hope it's the RIGHT home and he'll never end up outside or neglected again......so if any you don't mind, take a moment, and say a little prayer to the kitty gods that Mr. Chance gets a human with as big of a heart and as much love to give as he does.

Okay........I'll update you as I know what is going on with him...for now......let's move on to a topic that doesn't make me all sniffly and weepy-eyed.....

THE DEATH CURSE OF TARTU!

Although.....as bad as this movie is....I probably should have cried....

I actually bought this movie on VHS a few years ago when the Monster Shop was still open, and I had good memories of watching it. I'm not sure exactly why after this second viewing on DVD....after all, I don't have a history of drug or alcohol abuse... but I bought it as part of the Amazon Halloween sale....as part of a double feature with Sting of Death.
They're both movies that take place in the Florida Everglades and both directed by William Grefe. He's also responsible for the story about a boy and his snakes, Stanley.

Death Curse is the story of an Indian Burial Mound and the curse of an Indian, Tartu, placed on it. Anyone who's seen ANY movie involving ancient burial grounds will probably be able to give me a plot synopsis already.

It begins with some dude being taken through the everlglades to the burial mound by some other dude......who drops off dude #1 (known hereafter as 'Pesky Meddler') with the famous words, 'This is as far as I go.....'

Fair enough.....and our Pesky Meddling Friend in the Hat is free to go search for whatever it is he's looking for....
Hey, I'm white, I have a hat and a gun, and it's my job to mess with things I should stay away from.....

So he wanders while we look at stock footage of alligators, sets up camp, makes coffee, wanders some more and eventually stops to dig up.....SOMETHING.....

Then, somewhere....on another part of the mound? in another dimension? in another movie? unseen tribal people chant and some dead? undead? dude shifts in his sleep...
No, literally, he just SHIFTS.

Pssshhhhttt......Getting up and walking around is for pussies......
and for movies with BUDGETS........


All this shifting around apparently makes the snakes come out....because soon the area is crawling with snakes.....who are all up to NO GOOD.....which we know IMMEDIATELY because one tries to make off with Mr. P.M.'s coffee pot.....

HA! How you gonna make coffee now, Pesky Meddler Guy?

Well, our friend P.M never makes it off the mound with this....thing....he's just dug up, because he's soon to be prey for the infamous tree jumping pythons that apparently infest the area......of course pythons are LEGENDARY for jumping out of trees onto their prey....so I'm not sure why he never saw that coming....

Good thing I don't have to worry about pythons jumping out of trees at me.......


Or, shit, maybe I do...........

Who's a naughty little python? Who is??


Well, for some reason or another...it doesn't REALLY matter why, does it? Some professor, his woman, and four of his students (apparently) decide to follow this bum to the burial mound....and they're escorted by the SAME guy who took the first guy, and he again drops them off and leaves them....good luck, gang!
Well, you know it's not good when you find a skull on a stick....but the plucky group press on anyway....
Number one best part....as the gang is making their way through the everglades, one of the 'students' suddenly stops and shushes the rest.....then starts YELLING
"Listen? Can't you hear it? Sounds like........Dwums!"

God bless William Grefe, I did NOT make a typo there. Screw second takes! We've got a movie to make, people!!!!

How can you NOT hear those DWUMS???!!??

So the gang finds P.M.'s camp, the ALMOST (whew! thank god Snakes don't have hands!) stolen coffee pot, and the .....thing.....he dug up, which someone in the gang immediately pronounces as 'GROOVY'. Mr. Professor figures it might be harder than Latin, but he can probably get down and dirty with decipherin' it in no time....

Dear Mom and Dad: Camp is okay but I'm tired of all the dancing and dwums.


The 'students' decide that's nice, but what they REALLY want to do is go down by the water and 'roast marshmallows'. So THAT'S what the kids call it these days.

What's even funnier is that as soon as they're gone, the professor is telling his GF all about the warnings and curses written on the groovy thing......uh, information you maybe want to pass on to the REST OF THE GROUP?????

No matter, our swinging friends are already making out by the fire, and then dancing to a swinging tune on their transistor radio...
Nothing's better than a go-go on an Indian Burial Mound, I say! Well, dancing lead to hijinks, and hijinks lead to one of the couples being pushed in the water and deciding to race across it........which immediately leads to film of our friend 'shifting' in his sleep again, which leads to stock footage of SHARKS, and yep, pretty soon we have a full on great white shark attack in the everglades...where they happen EVERY DAY.

Well, soon the screaming brings on the Prof and his woman, and he finally confesses that the groovy thing says this Indian dude put a curse on the island and can send his spirit into animals in order to protect his burial mound.......which apparently includes animals that have never lived EVER in this part of the world - by SHIFTING in his sleep! Way to go, dead Indian Guy!

Well, the remaining four decide that one of them has to 'run for help'.......which kind of made my head spin.....seeing as though they had to get there in a BOAT.....but never one to question bad plots too hard, I suspend about three tons of disbelief as remaining male student #2 decides he is best for the job......

He probably doesn't get two miles before our friend is once again 'shifting' around in his sleep....and more snakes come out to play....
Is it me or doesn't that look just like one of those little claw grabbing monster things you always used to beg your parents to buy you at the zoo?

Well, the remaining three are not content to just wait for help so they go off looking for this burial mound. They find it, break in, and get locked out, and get out, and back in.....just trust me on this part, it's actually a good twenty minutes of out/in/ screaming and big alligators...and what we eventually end up with is this:



What she's doing here is actually holding the prop alligator's head closed over her 'bloody' arm. It's precious. Well, as you can tell, things don't end to well for our remaining student....and our last couple end up BACK in the burial mound again...because of course that worked so well the FIRST TIME.

Apparently this is what the bulk of the budge was saved for, because FINALLY our Indian friend does more than shift around and actually transforms into a real live pissed off Indian person....which leads to a lot more screaming, running around....




and then FINALLY to our finale, which happens to revolve around quicksand. I HEART endings that end with quicksand. Honestly I do. Perhaps that's why I thought i liked this movie.


And I also LOVE when movies end with 'The End'. Ever notice you rarely see that anymore?
BTW...let me know what you think of the screen captures....I just learned myself how to do that today! Fun! yeah, I'm always the last to learn all the tricks the cool kids know.....
And I'm spent........I was going to follow this up with Sting of Death.....but on second thought I think I'll go with something with more substance, like Vampire Hookers.

Not even kidding a little bit,
Mother Firefly

Favorite Christmas Movies

Merry Christmas, my Loves!
Well. I was feeling MUCH better and then got too ahead of myself by doing a mini baking marathon yesterday. DUMB. Today I feel pretty crappy and spent the majority of Christmas Day napping on the couch. Good Times!

But I'm back to finish my list .... and talk about all the things I wished I'd had time to watch this Holiday season.

Before I get to my list, let me mention one of my favorite Christmas past times.....
Scared of Santa photos.
I love SOS photos because, I too, was totally scared of the big jolly guy.
Here's a couple places to check them out.
Grab a drink and enjoy:
SOS- Sun Sentinel
SOS-Chicago Tribune


So since I'm feeling pretty lousy, I'm not going to spend a lot of time talking about my favorite Christmas movies. But I really wanted to do this, and would have done it much sooner if the NCLEX, painting, and illness hadn't gotten in my way.
None of these except for the last one are in any particular order.

Elf
I heart the crap out of Will Ferrell. Love this movie.

Miracle on 34th Street
Want to see me cry? Put in this movie, you big meanie.

Love, Actually
Not really a true Christmas movie but a lot of it takes place around Christmas and it has so many British men in it that I love....Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Alan Rickman, and the fabulous Bill Nighy as a recording star forced to sell a horrible Christmas record.

Scrooged
Probably my favorite Bill Murray movie. Never get tired of his performance in this. Favorite part: When Bill ends up at the homeless shelter his ex girlfriend works at and a homeless Michael J. Pollard, and Anne and Logan Ramsey are convinced that Bill is Richard Burton. The three beg 'Dick' to perform, and Bill finally just goes with it and does his best Burton. The three swoon. Classic.

Rankin Bass
I have to watch Rudolph, Frosty, and Santa Claus is Comin' to Town every year. I'll even watch Rudolph's Shiny New Year if I have time. But the one I absolutely can't do without is The Year Without a Santa Claus. It's just not Christmas without the Heat Miser and the Cold Miser.

South Park- I already mentioned Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics, but I love all the South Park Christmas episodes, including the original Mr. Hankey, and the one with Mr. Hankey's drunken abusive wife. But the one that I probably love the most is Woodland Critter Christmas.
It starts innocently enough, with Stan coming across a bunch of woodland critters who want him to help decorate for Christmas. Then the critters come to wake Stan up to tell him that Porcupiney the Porcupine (who is a virgin) is going to give birth to the Savior and they need Stan to build them a manger. Then we find out that the Mountain Lion always kills the virgin critter who is pregnant with the savior. Of course Stan has to kill the mean old Mountain Lion.....and of course, in classic South Park fashion, the critters celebrate with a blood sacrifice and orgy.....to celebrate the coming birth of ....SATAN!
I won't ruin the rest, and besides, you have to see it to believe it.......trust me, you won't regret taking 20 minutes of your day to check this episode out.
Go to this link, click on season 8 and select 'Woodland Critter Christmas'
South Park Studios

Nightmare Before Christmas
Thank God for Tim Burton bringing stop motion back. Plus great songs.

The Grinch
The cartoon, not the remake with those creepy looking Who people.

A Christmas Story
What else can you say about this one? The only thing I can add is that this movie was directed by Bob Clark, the same person who directed my favorite Christmas movie.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (Mystery Science Theater 3000)
If you're really brave, you can get drunk and watch this without the MST gang....but I don't recommend it.

Gremlins
I finally bought this movie last year and I hadn't seen it in years. It was as great as I remember and a great Christmas movie. Plus it has Hoyt Axton!

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
I don't usually enjoy movies like this....physical comedy is not my favorite thing. But I like this movie regardless....and I live for when the elderly relatives bring their cat wrapped up as a Christmas gift.

The Santa Clause
Not a big Tim Allen fan either....hated his TV show, but I love this movie.

The Bishop's Wife
Cary Grant. Enough said.

Black Christmas
My number one favorite Christmas movie.....also directed by Bob Clark of A Christmas Story. It's also one of the scariest movies that I've ever seen, and it still creeps me out. I don't know why it doesn't get the attention as other movies from that same time period, like Halloween and Friday the 13th.....and it was made before those as well. It's about a killer who sneaks into a sorority house at Christmas time and also makes creepy prank phone calls.....it's the classic 'the phone calls are coming from inside the house' scenario....but done in the scariest, most effective way possible. It also has great characters, acting, and humor. And we never really know who the killer is or why he's doing what he's doing. And THAT is perhaps scariest of all.
If you don't believe me that less is sometimes more.....witness the godawful remake made a couple of years ago that tried to explain who the killer was and his motivation......it's terrible, boring, and NOT scary.

That's my list......and now I'm off to consume mass quantites of OJ while I enjoy my Chrismas present to myself, Dawn of the Dead on Blu-Ray.

Merry Christmas.....I hope you had a terrific one.....
Love
Mother Firefly

Favorite Christmas Songs

Here are the songs I consider ESSENTIAL for my Christmas listening pleasure:

The Christmas Song.....Nat King Cole
This is my absolutely, positively favorite Christmas song of all time, hands down, no question. And only this version will do. It's not Christmas for me till I hear this, and thanks to the Holly station on XM (played during painting our living room last week) I did get to hear it. Therefore Christmas can still happen.

Last Christmas.....by Wham!
Omg. How I heart this song.....as soon as I hear that crappy synthesizer in the beginning, I'm 14 again and there's NO WAY IN HELL that G. Mike is NOT heterosexual. NO WAY, I tell you. Although I was always an Andrew Ridgeley mark - (How could you resist those eyes?) this song makes me stop, turn it up, and sing along with George and his heartache.....love or hate him, you gotta admit, the man sells this song.....with the whispered 'Merry Christmas'...and his righteous indignation in the line....'My god, I thought you were someone to rely on...me, I guess i was a shoulder to cry on...'
I recently heard some watered down remake of this song that made me want to simultaneously vomit and scream - the singer sounded like he was HAPPY, for God's sake. HELLO?!? This is a song about heartbreak and rejection, at CHRISTMAS, no less- just shut up and let G. Mike show you how it's done.

And god bless Wham! - they also made a little video back in the day for the song as well. I believed that would be the ultimate Christmas, to run off to some cabin with a bunch of pretty people and George and Andrew and run around in the snow.....alas it never did happen but maybe if I live long enough and go senile, I'll tell people about the time I dumped my BF George for his BFF Andrew and it was a VERY uncomfortable Christmas.....



Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics

I did break this out tonight and let it play through three times while I wrote my blog tonight....so we can officially start Christmas now.

I wasn't sure if I should put this on my music list or my movie/tv list....but since it's all songs, and I have other South Park Christmas favorites...I thought it should go here. Some highlights include:

Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo - containing what I think is the one of the funniest lyrics of all time:

Mr Hankey, the Christmas Poo,
He loves me, I love you,
therefore vicariously he loves you.......

(also extra points for making the intro resemble Rankin/Bass' Postman from Santa Claus is Coming to Town)

O Holy Night......sung by Eric Cartman.
I have to mention this song not because I actually love it but because it has managed to creep so deeply into my psyche that when I hear the real song, I automatically hear Cartman's voice in my head and fill in with his words......

It is the night with the Christmas trees and pie
Jesus was born and so I get presents
Thank you Jesus for being born
Fall on your knees
and hear the angels...something
O Night Divine.....when I get presents

I'll be 80 and I'll still hear Cartman in my head, I'm sure of it.
When I'm sitting around talking about the good old days with my boyfriend Andrew.

And my favorite, the medley done by Santa and Jesus.
If you go here, you can watch the whole episode on the South Park website:
http://www.southparkstudios.com/
There should be a link directly to this episode, but if not, it's on season 3 - which is also on the website.

Happy Christmas (War is Over)
I never get tired of this song. I love the message and I love John Lennon's voice. I wish he were still around to sing it for us.
And this is also the time of year I bring out my Yoko Ono impersonation. It comes out once a year and it's always the first time I hear this song in December. And then it goes away again till next year. Unless you were also painting my living room last week, you missed it.
I also like the Melissa Etheridge version of this song. It is acceptable. Celine Dion also did a version, but a big Mr. Hankey the Chrismas Poo all over that.



Do They Know It's Christmas? Band-Aid
I was HUGELY in love with a lot of British bands and singers and quite a few of them are in this. Not that it wasn't done for a good cause and all....but hey, I was FOURTEEN. Sure, feed the world, but SHOW ME DURAN DURAN while you're at it.



Elvis......Blue Christmas
The whole dang album, but ESPECIALLY 'Santa Bring My Baby Back to Me' and the most Elvisiest of all Elvis Christmas songs, 'Santa Claus is Back in Town'. When I was a little kid, I thought Elvis was singing that song drunk. True Story. Turns out that I was mistaking drunkeness for horniness. Not the first time I'd make that mistake.....

I can't YouTube anything because they take all the Elvis videos down anyway.....
Don't have this album? BUY IT.

It's Christmas, Bitches

Hi-de-ho, my snowbound friends! STILL dreaming of a White Christmas?
Then come over and take the HUGE pile on top of my car. Or the HUGE pile blocking half my driveway. OR help yourself to any of the four feet piled up between the houses where we dug out our sidewalk. Seriously. Take it.


Anyway.........I really thought by today that I would be sitting down with a martini, a plate of Christmas cookies, and enjoying Black Christmas......BUT nope. I have hopes for tomorrow. But between remodeling the living room, shoveling, illness, and Papa Cash going back to work, we're STILL just trying to get our house back to normal. I actually managed to mail Christmas cards..barely..but I have zero decorations up and I haven't even watched Scrooged or Elf yet, let alone Black Christmas.

So........it's now 4 am and I've spent all day and night just trying to get things back to something resembling normal, so I can spend my Christmas Eve and day calling relatives, making cookies, and hopefully watching some movies. And I'm STILL not done.

So I've decided since this year is so jacked up, and the holiday is pretty much upon us, that I'll make some lists of my favorite Christmas movies, songs, and 'things' in lieu of actually getting to do them.

So....bring on the lists!
Mother Firefly

Somebody Shoot Me

Delayed from Sunday morning......I passed out on the couch and woke up to the buzzer on the oven going off and the movie over.

Seriously.
I just put a pie bigger than your face in the oven. I have no idea how I accomplished that. But now my body and lungs are telling me to lay down or they're going to cough me into unconsciousness.

Since I found out last night after watching One Eye that I don't cough if I lay very still under the electric blanket, I decided the only possible cure at this point is ....
more movies!

Something old, something black and white, something kind of fun......must be time to break out my Sam Katzman Collection.

I had four fun films to choose from but I went with The Giant Claw....


The movie begins with a view of the planet earth and a voiceover:

Once, the world was big and no man in his lifetime could circle it. ....Now the farthest corner of the Earth is as close as a pushbutton.
And time has lost all meaning.....

Oh, good. This must mean this is going to be a serious movie about serious things. I'm ready.

Soooo.....this pilot dude sees this thing in the sky which right away the government tells him he didn't see. So then the same pilot dude and this lady are taken to NYC by a second pilot who immediately doesn't see exactly what the first pilot dude never saw. And then the plane crashes.

Pilot number two is now dead and a local farmer named Pierre (because, aren't they all?) rescues the couple. Then the government swings by the farm to a) pick up the body, and b) remind everyone once again that nobody EVER SAW ANYTHING.


Pierre goes outside for some reason or another, and promptly starts screaming. Pilot and woman friend run out side to find him laying in the dirt and crying. They take him inside and Pierre insists he's just had an encounter with what he calls ' la carcagne', the devil in the storm, with the face of the wolf and the body of a woman with wings, a legend that the French Canadians speak about.

Apparently the legend says if you see this huge bird, it's a sign of your impending doom.

Or a sign of our impending shaking of our heads in disbelief when we witness the monster the filmmakers have dreamed up for us:


It's a GIANT FLYING TURKEY, ladies and gentlemen.





Go ahead. take another look. I had to.

Here is the big scary monster eating a PLANE. Yep.
Only thing missing are the wires - but trust me, the wires aren't missing in the actual movie.

God love the people who made this movie. Or God forgive them, I'm not sure which. But even in my cough medicine addled state, I do appreciate an old fashioned silly ass monster movie.

So somewhere in here....I passed out and then woke up....and we went to a Christmas party where I was nice enough to cover my cough all night. I always feel so generous this time of year!

And then the next day I picked up where I left off......still feeling pretty crappy and out of it....and what I can tell you is this: They tried to kill it and couldn't.....then they figured out that it laid an egg...then they shot holes in the egg....then someone came up with some idea about something to do with an anti-matter machine, and somehow that was the missing ingredient....and then the monster went to land on this big building:

And then they killed it. The End.

I'd honestly think that I'd dreamt up this movie in my virus infected mind if I didn't actually have the pictures to back it up.



But I do....and I have THREE other movies in this collection and I hope to GOD that they are as incredibly silly and bad as this one......even as sick as I was, I never fail to appreciate a 'so bad it's good' old fashioned monster movie. Seeing the zipper in the back of the costume, or the wires holding up the monster never fails to make me feel all happy and warm. I'll take silliness like this any day over another Saw sequel, or bad remake of some movie that I love. I crave simple, silly, b/w monster movies where the plot holes are as big as my head.

And this movie AND the flying turkey looked damn good on the new Blu-Ray player and tv. Truly, it did.

On to more badness very soon, hopefully.....
Mother Firefly

I Have Taken To My Bed..........

I thought this weekend I'd be doing fun things to celebrate passing the NCLEX and finishing the remodeling of the living room, like making Christmas cookies, writing out Christmas cards, and watching Black Christmas.

Instead I'm covering myself with VapoRub, forcing fluids, and wondering where I'm going to get the energy to make a pie for the Christmas party tomorrow. It may not be the worst cold I've ever had, but it's certainly one of the worst coughs I've ever had.



So what's a sick girl to do? Exactly, sit back and relax and watch a classic Swedish movie about a woman out for revenge.

There are two versions of this film.
Thriller: A Cruel Picture (red box) and
Thriller: They Call Her One Eye (yellow box), which is the one that I have. I've seen the other version, but I got a great deal on this one. And from what I know, the biggest difference between the two is the X-rated porn inserted into the red box version.
And I want to watch ass-kickin', not random up close shots of people (not even the actors in the movie) having sex.

The movie is about Frigga, who is raped as a young girl and as a result of that, never speaks again. As Frigga grows up, she is sent to therapy in town in the hopes that it might cure her.

One fateful day while waiting for the bus to pick her up, a man in a car stops and asks if he can give her a lift into town. Of course, she never makes it to therapy because he is A BAD MAN.

Mr. BAD MAN gets her drunk and then phones a friend to come and shoot her up with heroin. They then keep her filled with heroin for a few days so they can get her good and addicted before letting her know, guess what, you're going to become a prostitute and here's a letter we're sending to your parents telling them you don't love them anymore and you're never coming home again.
Frigga tries her best to resist all of it, but all she gets for her trouble is having one of her eyes cut out. Thus....the meaning of 'they call her one eye'....

but Frigga makes the best of a bad situation by managing to find many different colored patches to match whatever outfit she has on at the time....pink to go with her bathrobe....black to go with her leather coat....you get the idea.

Eventually Frigga finds out that her parents are so despondent over her letter that her father has tried to kill himself......she returns home to find that actually, both her parents have committed suicide because they couldn't live without their daughter.

Naturally she feels really bad about that.

Naturally this is one of the first big plot holes.

I'm mystified as to how she can suddenly take a day trip away from the heroin/prostituion ring.

Frigga goes to church to cry and to ponder the tragedy of it all. Suddenly, she has an epiphany. Since Frigga doesn't speak, we're forced to wonder what it is that she now KNOWS she must do.....

And then we find out. Frigga needs to learn to :
-do karate,
-shoot guns,
-and drive a car.

Frigga is able to pay for these lessons by doing 'extra' favors for her clients - a trick taught to her by one of her fellow prostitutes - a woman that Frigga befriends.

Frigga learns to kick and punch, shoot out the bullseye, and how to turn into the skid.
Apparently more day passes from the prostitution ring.
Eventually all her teachers tell her there is nothing more that they can show her.

The last straw for Frigga is when she discovers her friend has been murdered - and she sets out on her vengeful slow motion killing spree using all her new skills- going after johns, her pimp, and even two police officers that try to stop her. But Frigga has the most fun taking care of her pimp- which involves burial up to the neck, a rope, and a horse.

Which is also the point where I passed out - not from shock but from the kind of tired you can only become while being sick - when just a simple act like watching a movie can feel like three hours of hard labor. I have roused myself long enough to finish this post.....and then it's back to my couch, my electric blanket, and my juice.

I also want to mention that the woman gracing the top of my blog for December, Bettie Page, died this month. But she will live forever as a representative of a era long gone by.....

-Mother Firefly

Countdown to the NCLEX and XMAS

The combination is kinda making me feel like this picture.
A Scary Little Christmas.
I have 8 days left before I take the NCLEX.
I am doing about 200 questions a day as practice.

I watched Wizard of Gore last night (the remake) and I didn't know what was worse, the movie or NCLEX questions.



On one of the moments when I was avoiding studying and surfing around the web, I found this. It may be the creepiest 3 minutes I have ever watched.



-Mother Firefly