Vacayshon is Ovah....Almost....Again.....

Well, my longest break since beginning nursing school is coming to an end. If I didn't know by looking at the calendar, I'd know by my dreams last night.....had a classic 'missed my first day of school' one last night. I went back to my old job and started working like nothing was different...then looked at the clock and realized I'd missed my first day back. NICE. Love those dreams.

I'm taking a WinterIm class during the next two weeks that starts in two days. I've been highly tempted to drop it, but it's hard to deny how nice it is to finish a 3 credit class in two weeks. So I will take it. The book came today so I guess I gotta start reading it.

I should have a week off inbetween that and the new 'Spring' semester....and then things will really be picking up in the first or second week of February. I'll be starting my new clinicals and my new position as a TA and taking three classes.

On the kitty-kat front, Chance is back with us for a while. He did not adjust well to life at the store where he was being put up for adoption. He did get neutered, vaccinated, and tested..and everything was fine physically....but everyone felt that he needs time to adjust to being a housekitty again before he can be adopted. So he's back here for a while and we're letting him roam around more than before so he can see what it's like to live in a house in real life.


I've watched a few movies lately......and finished Season 4 of Lost. VERY happy to see they threw in a good old fashioned Sayid kick ass-a-thon for your girl in those last couple of episodes. Thank You, people who make Lost.

I'm not going to take the time to do a big review on any of these, but this is what I've been watching lately.

Elvis Marathon:
I bought myself for CHEAP a 4 movie Elvis set at Target. Elvis movies are somewhat interchangeable.
I mean, we know going in that the following criteria are sure to be met:

1) Elvis will be able to break into song and/or dance with OR without the need or benefit of a backing band,
2)Elvis' hair will be a not-found-in-the-natural-world shade of black and at least 97% of it will NOT MOVE for the entire movie
3)Elvis will also break into a fight at least once (and in Kissin' Cousins', where Elvis plays two parts, he will even fight himself! BEST. Elvis. Fight. EVER)
4) Elvis will fall for a chick who doesn't want him at either the beginning or midway through the movie, while every other female in a 50 mile radius will be fainting over him
5)Elvis will always be preternaturally pretty. It's true. Elvis quit making movies before he got tubby and too drugged out.
6)Elvis is prone to smacking women on the behind.

When I was a kid, one of our local stations played 4 o'oclock movies on weekdays. A lot of times, they were theme weeks, like Godzilla movies, or killer animal movies. Elvis theme weeks happened A LOT. When I was really young (pre-kindergarten), I could never figure out why the people in the movie didn't call Elvis Elvis. I guess I thought that the movies were just people filming Elvis having different adventures. Which kind of makes the movies funnier on a whole other level when you think about it.

I've made it through 3 out of the 4 in my set: Girl Happy (I picked this set because this movie was on it and it is my favorite Elvis movie....although not much happens to distinguish it from other Elvis movies), Kissin' Cousins, and Tickle Me. I still have Live a Little, Love a Little left to go. It's a great set I picked up at Target for about 8 bucks.....and you can't go wrong at 2.00 per Elvis movie. A bargain, indeed.

Here are some other films I've been watching lately (a lot of them at the theater, we've been back in full swing again)

Savage Streets
Another film I picked up lately that I kinda sorta remembered from my youth but not real well. but I'm sure everyone knows by now, I heart the crap out of a good down and dirty female revenge film. I also have a huge soft spot in my little black heart for Linda Blair. Perhaps its because she was responsible for scaring me so bad in The Exorcist. I was going to do a full on review of this awesome movie, but I decided to skip it since I haven't done it already.
It's also fun because it's soooooo dated and filled to the brim with cliches like the oldest high schoolers in the world, girl cat fights in the shower (check out the two naked girls seemingly fighting for no reason behind the two main characters fighting for a good reason...a boy of course) and it'll leave you wondering just how in the heck Linda Blair maintained such nipple hardness under her shirts for so long. I mean, you CANNOT miss them, even if you want to. Go ahead and try. I dare you.

This is probably the ultimate edition of this fun film- two discs filled with interviews and commentaries. I also heard a rumor that the company that put this out may have went out of business? I can't substantiate that but if you're interested in picking it up, you may want to do it sooner rather than later.

Twilight
Okay, you are either gonna want to see Twilight or not. If you get all horned up at the prospect of some sexy vampire sweeping you off your feet, (and there are PLENTY that do, trust me) then by all means....go see this. I was afraid it'd be loaded with MTV style editing but I was relieved to find it wasn't. It's a guilty pleasure movie right up there with Roadhouse and Showgirls. Although, like 99% less skanky. And no Patrick Swayze.

Slumdog Millionaire
A GREAT film. Danny Boyle does it again. Go, Danny, go. I'm crossing my fingers for Oscar time.

Yes Man
The most enjoyable thing I've seen Jim Carrey do in a long time. Not the best Jim Carrey by far, but I was amused.

Quantum of Solace
I'll just state two things. One-Daniel Craig is a smoldering smolderer with the best of them. Two-I am missing the part of the brain that would allow me to enjoy and understand spy movies. I was also sitting under the heat vent at the theater and I got realllll sleeeeeeeeeeeepy. Stuff happened. Things blew up and Daniel Craig ran around. I napped.

Four Christmases
This is kind of like Twilight in that you either want to see Vince Vaughn movies or you don't. I happen to be in the 'do want' category. I laughed.

Seven Pounds
I knew just about zero going into this film and I think, besides Will Smith, that was a lot of the reason I wanted to see this. How often does THAT happen? Trailers ruin a lot of movies for me. So it was kind of cool to walk into a theater and have very little idea of what was going to happen.....so I'll just leave it at that and not speak about the plot. I will say it was an interesting concept but also a movie that unfolded very. slowly. At one point it did kind of feel like I'd been in the theater a very long time, but I was still interested in how it was going to turn out. I will say if you are expecting joking happy Will Smith, this is not the film - the character he plays is more on par with I Am Legend-only probably even more serious.

I think that's it for now....in the next couple of weeks, before school gets into full swing, I hope to get to a few more.

Mother Firefly

Sting Me, Baby

In one of my last posts for 2008, I reviewed the William Grefe classic 'Death Curse of Tartu'. I mentioned there was a second Grefe film, Sting of Death, also filmed in the Florida Everglades. I bought this DVD mostly for the first title, and didn't have any firm plans as to when I was going to enjoy the second. However, insomnia paved the way, and I ended up putting in Sting of Death a couple of nights ago.....and I can't tell you how overjoyed I was. Seriously. I had no idea I was in possession of such a precious piece of low budget bad horror movie heaven. It has so many things that I love, including:
1)a monster in a rubber suit
2) a monster in a rubber suit that SWIMS- which means...underwater photography!
3)60's hairstyles and swimsuits
4)some random point in the movie when a bunch of teenagers start dancing
5)scientists

I knew right away I would love this movie when the first shot is of the monster's hand grabbing TOOLS...to do what with, I don't know, but who cares!

Rarrrrrrrr.....this one thing just needs a slight adjustment...Rarrrrrrrrrrr

Then we see a bathing beauty laying out on a dock...who is soon to be the monster's first prey....and he drags her down into the water. She ends up being pretty disposable since she's only ever mentioned once and nobody really puts in a lot of effort to look for her.

Then a boat arrives on the same dock....a boat filled with young women. Two men are there to greet the women, Dr. Richardson and his assistant, John. One of the young women, Karen, is Dr. Richardson's daughter and she has apparently brought her friends for a visit while they're on break from school.
It's important to remember one's gloves when tooling around in the Everglades....

The group all sit down for some refreshing orangeade and introductions....we learn that the bathing beauty was probably a woman named Ruth who is another important member of the team studying sea life....but apparently not all that important as I've already stated....

I hate when I fall asleep with a Magic Marker in my hand...............

One of the girls is startled by a noise behind her...and thus we are introduced to Egon, the last member of the team, the 'creepy' one. We know he is the creepy one because John announces that Egon has a habit of 'sneaking up on people'.....and he has one weird half closed eye....

and in true Grefe fashion, Dr. Richardson admonishes Egon by telling him, 'You shouldn't have SNEAKED up on her like that, Egon!'
Yes, my friends, this is a Grefe movie, and once again, that is not a typo.
Darrrr derp derp........Hi Ladeeessssssssss.....da derp derp

John also informs the girls that he has invited a bunch of biology students over for a welcoming party and they will be here in fifteen minutes! The girls freak out and hurry to get ready. You know how those crazy bio students are.......

Meanwhile, the sheriff rides up in his boat with a body he has found and wants Dr. R to check out....they just can't figure out what could have caused these wounds!


Dr. R and John agree that the wounds look like they were caused from Portugese Man of War - but that the stings are too large. But Egon insists that Man of War CAN get that big! Dr. R and John brush him off....silly Egon, he's always saying crazy things!
Da derp....Yes they can Dr. R!......No they can't Egon........DA DERRRRRP YES DEY CAN DERP DERP........YOUSE GUYS NEVER LISTEN....DERP DERP

Dr. R takes off to check the hatcheries, as the wild Bio students are coming, and Dad can't handle these newfangled dances! John goes to fetch some ice, Karen plays with the radio, and Egon does some more 'Sneaked around' on Karen...
We find out that Egon is
1)Crushing on Karen
2)Wants Dr. R to fire John and become Dr. R's right hand man, and
3) is doing his own experimenting out at the swamp...DERP DERP


but we have no time to ponder this as the party boat full of Biology students is here! YES!!!
The boat contains a few familiar faces, as it is apparently carrying about half the cast from 'Tartu'! The party boat barely unloads as all of the guests break into spontaneous dancing on the deck....

Dig those crazee DWUMS.......they make me wanna DANCE!!!

Egon watches from a distance, smiling and getting into the spirit of things until one of the guests sees him and gets the whole group to chase Egon, circle him, point and laugh at him....

Get away from me or I'll SNEAKED up on you!!!!!!!

Karen yells at them to stop and leave Egon alone....and the group breaks up to go drink, eat, and do some more stupid dancing. John apologizes to Karen for the group's behavior, and comforts her by making out with her.
Meanwhile, something is sneaking into the pool....

They'll never notice me in here!!!!

Everyone goes out side to listen to a dumb song by Neil Sedaka called 'The Jellyfish' and do the dance that goes along with it.

Do the jella.....the jilla-jalla jella......it's really swella...to do the jalla jellyfish..
Monkey, don't be a donkey...It isn't funky or anything that's junky........
It's something swella..............The jilla-jalla jellyfish...........

One of the girls decides to go for a much needed dip in the pool after all that crazy dancin'! Apparently HUGE Jellyfish monsters do a pretty good job of blending into a clean pool in the bright sunlight....

Jellyfish Monster also attacks one of the guys on its way out....and Dr. R decide to treat the girl at the house, but that the new guests should take their friend to the hospital by way of party boat.

A fine idea until the boat is attacked by what appears to be inflated shower caps floating on the water.....er, I mean JELLYFISH.... it's kind of akin to draping yourself with a sheet and running around your house pretending to be a ghost.....except that might be oh, about a HUNDRED times scarier than this mess:

wooooooo.....we're skerrreeeeee jelllyfish....woooooooooooo

Of course the Jellyfish capsize the boat (as they are wont to do) and attack the party people one after another....leaving no survivors!
Halp! there's a skereee jellyfish shower cap on my head!!!!! HAAAAAAAALP!!!!

Jellyfish Carnage....It isn't pretty, folks.

Then we see Jellyfish Man arriving at his lair...and after some staggering around, smoke, and equipment flashing, we discover that Jellyfish Man is actually.....EGON!!
Egon tired......derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrppppppp

The next day, Dr. R. John, and a couple of women who want to go SIGHTSEEING... (for real? are you kidding me?) head down to check the jellyfish traps or whatever.. and try to locate Egon in the process. Dr. R. puts on his sexy stripey shorts and off they go....


Serious business calls for SERIOUSLY tight shorts!

The remaining women aren't going to last long with a Killer Jellyfish Man on the loose!
Well, eventually Dr. R and John make the mistake of asking Egon to watch over Karen....and you can guess what happens next.

Egon kidnaps her to take her to his SECRET Jellyfish Man lair. When Karen rejects his advances, Egon figures out that NOBODY likes him.....well, nobody except the jellyfish, that is....

With nothing left to lose, Egon lays out his evil plan for Karen and what he's been up to, hiding down here, growing big old jellyfish and apparently learning how to morph into one himself.
BIG SKEERY DA DERP DERPY JELLYFISH MAN HEAD GUY!!!!!

But our heroes Dr. R and John have followed Egon to his lair, and John breaks in with a lit flare for a weapon....and pretty soon we have a showdown between John, Jellyfish Man, and flare...

JM and John tussle, and the flare falls into the tank with the big jellyfish....which starts off some kind of something that ends with JM falling down and then his big old Jellyfish head melts? breaks open? I'm kind of lost at this point....

And now melted jelly head Egon warns them to get out before the whole place goes up, because of course it would all blow up now.....because........oh who are we kidding, NOBODY knows why.

The pair narrowly escape as the secret Jellyfish Lair goes bye-bye and Dad is waiting to haul them to safety....

and now pretty much everyone in the dang movie is dead but hey, at least it was a laugh riot getting to this point!

I love to poke fun at movies like this, but seriously, this movie has EVERYTHING that I love about a 'bad' movie. I call a movie like this 'bad' affectionately, because actually it's just about damn perfect in my book. A really BAD movie to me would be something like Pretty Woman. Or that one movie where Tom Hanks meets some chick in some building outside. Or any movie with Tom Hanks in it, for that matter. Or Tom Cruise.
Except Legend.
Legend Rocks.

Love and Jellyfish,
Mother Firefly

Happy 2009

Well, it's time for my first post of the New Year...and what better to start off with than your basic blaxpoitation grindhouse possessed by the devil movie??

Exactly what I thought, and that's why my first movie of 2009 is .....

ABBY.

I've actually got a few other movies that I need to review, but none of these movies did I covet as much as my very own copy of this movie.

Let's get on with the evilness, shall we??


Our movie opens with Professor Williams, played by William Marshall (Blacula). His students are giving him a going away party before he goes to Nigeria to research African religion, specificially a god named Eshu, who was supposedly big into sex and violence. His students act like ancient religions are silly but give him a big old cross as a going away present anyway.

While there, he discovers some ceremonial vessel associated with the demon, opens it, and lets the demon loose!

Good going, William Marshall!!!!!


And the demon IMMEDIATELY makes it way to the U.S., where Professor Williams' son Reverend Emmett and his wife Abby are busy moving into their new home and getting ready to do the work of the Lord!

Let's see...one happy, religious couple + one meddling father in law stirring up ancient demonic forces = one possession coming right up!

It's not long before we realize the demon has traveled all the way to the U.S. so it can pick on these two.......and we know this because of the weird noises at night, Abby's cold skin, and a bizarre windy attack in the basement while Abby does laundry.... which for some reason is never mentioned AGAIN......

Hurricane - like winds in my basement in the middle of the day? I'll never tell a soul about this!!!!

Abby gets on with her 'wife of a minister' duties, such as singing in the choir, cooking for the church social, and counseling young married couples in the righteous ways of the Lord. But the New and Improved Abby does everything with a whole new flair, gagging so loudly in church she has to be removed, trying to cut her arm off in the kitchen, and announcing to the young bride that not 'all men are created equal' and she (Abby) will be more than happy to take the groom upstairs for a test ride!

Reverend Emmett happens to walk in on this display, and pulls Abby upstairs to ask her what would possess her.....(haha)....and Abby gladly shows him, by announcing she is going to have her way with the Reverend, throws him down on the bed, and proceeds to bitch slap the shit out of him....
Look Abby.......Spirit Fingers!!!!!

Abby also develops one hell of a potty mouth, using words no good preacher's wife would NEVER even dream of using...



Everyone starts to wonder 'What's wrong with Abby?', and after ten or fifteen minutes of wondering and crying about it, they eventually take her to the hospital for tests. Gee, all the tests are negative and all the doctors can suggest is that Abby is probably mentally ill.


Thanks for calling your mothereffin' FATHER!!!!!

Professor Williams returns home from Nigeria and Abby busts out of the hospital, throwing people and equipment out of her way, with her nurse chasing after her, asking her what's she's doing??? I'm going home, bitch!!!!!!!!!

Dad and Jr. Williams arrive back home, only to find Abby waiting for them smiling and full of hospitality. Turns out Abby just really wanted to be there when Daddy Williams came home......because the demon is just dying for a showdown with the good Professor.......Um...okay....so the Professor let the demon free during the dig in Nigeria....and then the demon LEFT and traveled all the way around the world so it could fight him when he got BACK to the States?
Sigh.
Fine! Whatever, let's just go with it.
Plot holes, schmlot HOLES, BITCH!!!!

Abby warns the Prof that the fight is on and that she'll let him know when she's good and ready to get his ass! And then after breaking out of the hospital so she can be there for his return - she leaves. Yep. So she can go.....
DISCO DANCING!!!!!

Because this IS the 70's, however. And just as if this movie had taken place in the early 80's, the demon might have went roller skating.....because it is the 7o's, it heads to the disco. The demon even takes the time to call Abby's husband and lets him know that Abby needs to have a good time. What a considerate demon!
Abby hits the club and proceeds to start racking up the notches in her belt...or maybe she's killing them.....all we really know is that she gets them out in the car and shakin' and smokin' ensues......



Abby moves on to other men, and while she's busy, Dad and Jr Williams (along with Abby's brother) have hit the town trying to find her......even showing her, um, picture around town. Apparently Abby hadn't bothered to have her picture taken, oh, in about TWENTY-FIVE YEARS....


Excuse me, have you seen this four year old?

Eventually the gang track Abby down and confront her, which leads to more swearing, fighting, threats, and eventually William Marshall in a magical dashiki!
Which can only mean one thing.....It's Exorcism Time!!!

And if you've ever seen any movie with a possessed person in it EVER, you have a pretty good idea of how the last fifteen minutes of this movie play out......scary deep voices, foreign languages, floating, chanting, foaming at the mouth, invoking the name of God......oh and don't forget the part where the demon pretends to be the unpossessed person for a few minutes and swears 'they're all right now....'

But our plucky trio continues in the name of Jehovah and eventually they drive the demon out of Abby and back into the box from whence it came....

and then Abby and Emmett celebrate by going on a vacation!

And that, my friends, is the wonder known as ABBY.

I heart this little oddity of a film. I saw it for the first time a few years ago at a horror convention, where I also heard the story of its legal woes. Apparently it came out after The Exorcist and the makers of THAT film felt Abby was too close to their film and successfully sued to keep the film out of theaters. Which is kind of funny now- besides the lead character being possessed by a demon, the movies are fairly different. I have a feeling the producers of The Exorcist just had more money and power behind them and wanted to prevent this movie from taking money from them in some markets.

I loved this movie and have waited about five years for a copy of it- there was a bootleg available from some online retailers but I heard the quality was horrible. Then in October I found out that a new version was due out in November- it was a double feature with a movie called Magdalena. I am sorry to report that the quality of this film is TERRIBLE......and I don't know if they're even able to make a better copy....so in the meantime a crappy version of Abby will have to be better than no version at all. I do hope that someday this film can be restored and we can see it as it was intended......

-Mother Firefly