Sunday, June 13, 2010


This movie is all kinds of disturbing - especially from a woman's point of view - but I also thought it was great.

The story is pretty simple - two teenage boys, Rickie and J.T., head out for a night of beer and destruction at an abandoned mental institution and end up stumbling upon a naked girl chained to a table and covered in plastic. The kicker is that she's still alive - barely, it seems - and she's also in a room that's apparently been sealed off. Rickie wants to untie her and let her go, but J.T. isn't so sure he's ready to do that. After all, she's attractive, it seems that nobody knows she's there - and neither of the boys have any other prospects on the horizon. J.T,wants to 'wait a day or two' so he can keep her as his own personal plaything.

Apparently J.T. is more disturbed than we initially realize, because he eventually shows Rickie that this girl is not any ordinary girl - she's some kind of zombie and can be cut, strangled, or shot - she just won't stay dead no matter what J.T. does to her. What's really disturbing to me about this scene that J.T. has discovered this in the first place - he says to Rickie at one point, 'I've killed her three times and she won't stay dead'.

J.T. comes to see the girl as his own personal property - one that he can make money on by sharing her with others. The movie echos The Girl Next Door in that it's amazing and disturbing that so many other people are willing to get in on the action and not really do anything - or seem to feel anything for - about the fate of this girl on the slab.

Needless to say, there really aren't any likeable characters - even Rickie, who seems they may have some sort of conscience about him - doesn't ever seem to just do the right thing, and even his attempts at 'helping' seem kind of feeble and half-hearted. Rickie always seems, in the end, too concerned about what his 'friends' think of him to really be of any kind of hero.

As for the 'dead girl' herself, we never get any answers about her - we're left to our own imaginations as to how she got there and what she really is. I also thought the woman who played the dead girl, Jenny Spain, did a terrific job in the movie. It may seem that lying on a table naked with no dialogue doesn't take any real talent, but I thought it was a great performance, and she really creeped me out more than once. The terrific makeup effects helped as well.

A creepy, disturbing movie - definitely worth a watch.

Saturday, June 12, 2010

It's Time To Start the Music

After working 23 hours in the last two days (!) Mama F. craves nothing but her recliner, a martini, and some comfort TV.

Comfort TV = scary movies, Ghost Hunters and a little dose of nostalgia in the form of ....

The Muppet Show! (Courtesy of my BFF K.K. last year at Xmas. You Rock, Sexy Mama!)

I heart The Muppet Show. I never really got into the movies but I do remember the TV show fondly and I'm happy to say even 30 years later (OMG!) it still entertains.

What was even more entertaining today were the memories that Disc 2 brought up when the guest on the first episode was none other than everyone's favorite Wesson Oil Queen, Florence Henderson.

I don't have any feelings about Flo - I watched the reruns of the Brady Bunch like most people, but Carol and Mike Brady always bored me - and slightly creeped me out. Remember Mike Brady with a perm? Yeeeeeeeccccccch. And I've never really understood her appeal as this ultimate mother figure.

HERE'S the best TV mom EVER:

Suck it, Carol Brady!

ANYWAY.....when Flo guested on the Muppets, she was doing the Wesson Oil thing, and she could be seen on 70's TV pretty regularly, since back then everyone had a variety show and shows like The Love Boat needed a steady stream of B list celebs.
And when Flo showed up on these shows, she tended to sing.

Which drove my Mother CRAZY. I mean Crazy in the sense that old Flo had a pretty permanent home in my Mom's personal hate box. This lady was like her personal kryptonite. It didn't matter what my Mom was doing, let her be within earshot of Florence Henderson's musical stylings, and it would start.

"WHO the HELL decided this woman could sing??????"


"Oh JESUS tell me she's not going to sing AGAIN."

Some of this is obviously paraphrased, but I swear I'm not exaggerating when I say that Florence Henderson's singing drove my Mom absolutely BATSHIT.

Which is precisely my own response to the singing guy. Seriously, did you ever not want to kick someone in the teeth more? I want to slap the smile off that dude's face.

Maybe my mom will weigh in on this in the comments and enlighten us all as to why Old Flo made her so crazed.

Watching the Muppets again is just plain old Good Times. Having it bring back memories like the above makes it even more fun.

Here's what my mom (Harleygirl13) had to say about all of this.

"I just looked it up and the Muppets first aired 11/10/1969. So you weren't there for the first few episodes since you were born but it wasn't long after that. I would say you were maybe 2 months old and sitting in front of the TV in your little carrier while I sat and folded clothes or whatever but watching it right along with you. But they always gave the number of the episode your were watching and I know we started in the 2 digits. I really think they are they ones that got you started in reading,counting,and all that stuff. You were way ahead of all the other kids in everything. You could say your alphabet, count and so much more because of them. It's no wonder you like them so much. They were your playmates since before you could walk.

Now for more serious stuff!! Florence Henderson!!! OMG she drove me bonkers. To this day if she is on something and tries to sing I turn the station or leave the room. Who in God's Green Earth told her she could sing???? It sure wasn't me! Do you think they were always just teasing her and said "hey we need a few laughs for the show lets have Florence sing" Works for me. I really don't know why the woman bugs me so much. I don't think I was jealous of her mothering abilities because THE WOMAN NEVER DID ANYTHING!!!! If it wasn't for Alice the kids would have been junkies and on the street. I understand she does Broadway?!?! Do you think she gets paid??? Does anyone go see her??? Oh well maybe it is jealousy. After all a woman who can't act, can't sing, probably NEVER used Wesson oil in her life did OK huh? Maybe I missed my calling!! Could have been me. But I would much rather had been Mom on the Adams family. That is much more my style! Thank you for reminding me how bad Florence sings. It brought back a lot of memories!!! Keep the great blog going!!I heart everyone of them!! "

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Escape From the Planet of the Apes, or : Apes, 70's Style

Yippee! In case I haven't made it clear enough yet, the third movie in the POTA series, Escape, is Mother's Guilty Pleasure Favorite. The best film is, of course, the first, but for cheese value alone, you can't top the good times in Escape.

For starters, we've got Roddy McDowall returning to the Cornelius role, with Kim Hunter back again as his lovely wife, Zira. Corn, Zira, and a third friend, Dr. Milo, have somehow managed to get the astronaut's ship up and running and managed to escape Earth just before Chuck Heston blew it all to shit. At least we know why Corn and Zira aren't in the second film very much - they were busy rebuilding the ship.

So our gang plays it safe at first, but eventually the humans find out that these apes can talk, and sooner than later it comes out that the apes are pretty sure they come from Earth's future, a place where humans are mute, and the Damn Dirty Apes are Large and In Charge.

This upsets TV's Victor from Young and the Restless to no end, and he takes it upon himself to prevent the eventual ape takeover by elminating the apparent cause of the problem, namely - Cornelius, Zira, and their unborn child. Yep. Zira's pregnant, and TV's Victor sees all kinds of problems with that.

Ultimately, Zira and Cornelius go on the run, the baby is born, and they make friends with Ricardo Montalban.

Escape is also the only film of the actual movie to feature a montage. And who doesn't love a montage? Especially when said montage features Corn and Zira being shown the sights of LA, shopping for clothes, and being given a rockin' hotel suite at the Beverly Wilshire - all to the cheesiest music the 70's could dream up.

Here's a synopsis of the films thus far:
1. Chuck Heston, in the 70's, takes a spaceship two thousand years into the future. Where the Apes are. Chuck gets the apes all riled up, gets a girlfriend, steals a horse and a rifle, and ends up a prisoner of the bald icky people who live underground in what's left of the New York Subway.
2. James Franciscus follows, looking for Chuck, gets the apes all upset AGAIN, is forced to fight Chuck by the mind -controlling bald people, Chuck gets shot, gets pissed, swears, and blows up the planet.
3. Zira and Cornelius manage to escape, see the planet explode, and go back in time to a couple years after Chuck Heston initially left. Whew.
4. TV's Victor tries to put everything right by trying to kill off Zira and Cornelius, but not only makes the rest of the film series possible with his actions, but sets our ape friends on the run, where Mama and Daddy do the only thing they can to protect their newborn, which is give him to ...... Ricardo Montalban.

5. Which means that TV's Victor is ultimately responsible for the apes taking over earth.
Boom, Baby!

Until next time, Dearhearts,
Mother Firefly