Saturday, April 24, 2010

Beware The Blob!


After Nintendo finally drank the Netflix Kool-Aid and joined the X-Box and the PS3 in being able to stream movies instantly to our TV, and after spending one morning watching Happy Tree Friends, two episodes of Masters of Horror (and not the GOOD episodes either), three episodes of SOAP (didya hear me, my friends? FRIGGIN' SOAP. Now just give me streamin' Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman and I'll cry tears of joy.), and falling asleep during a totally not-about-Bigfoot-really documentary called 'Not Your Typical Bigfoot Movie' ,Mama finally settled on something I could really get into.

Beware the Blob is not only my favorite kind of cheese ball movie, it's one that I remember from childhood.


Since this is a Blob movie, it makes perfect sense to play the credits over a montage of:


A Kitten!!!!!
Awwwww. I hereby make the proclamation that more bad movies start with kittens!!!

Well, I hope you enjoyed the credits brought to you by Kittens! Inspired by Kittens! because we're about to cross the line into stupidity.
First, we have this couple, and I'm at odds as to who is the weirdest. The husband, who is camping in the living room; or his wife, who apparently is all kinds of okay with this arrangement.

The good news: Kitten's back!

The bad news: He has the unfortunate luck to be owned by these two weirdos.

Wifey finds the 'specimen' and when she asks her husband what it is and why he has it, he's all 'don't worry yer purty lil head about it'

which is apparently how the director feels about us.

And the director, by the by, is none other than:

J.R. Ewing.

Yes, it's true, Larry Hagman directed this slice of 70's cheese.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OHMIGOD ITS GOT ME BY THE JEANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lookie what's on TV:

Oh, the irony.
Now that the blob's out and about town, here comes the sequences of random blob killing:

In the tub with gettin yer Fez On!

Joining your makeout sessions:

And it all comes down to the showdown at the bowling alley/ice rink. I remember watching this movie when I was very young (I think it was a double feature with the original Blob) and my mom and I had it playing on a small TV in the kitchen while we made cookies. I actually remember a lot of the ending, including these scenes:
yes, they are wearing BULLET PROOF vests while shooting at the blob.



And I've never forgotten the ending:
LOLZ.
And that's about it for Beware! The Blob. The Blob just goes around....doing Blob stuff. Which is pretty much what happens in all of the Blob movies. Kind of crazy when you realize that we've had not one, not two, but THREE dang movies made about a pile of killer jello. That's the kind of fucked - up reasoning that also got us more than one movie about killer tomatoes. (Which Lord Knows I heart the first one, but c'mon). Anyway, it's fun, it went down fairly quicky and easily, and the dude with the yorkie and the fez made me laugh.

I said SOAP, people!
Mama Firefly

4 comments:

Jumbo's Lezis said...

I have yet to see this movie

Mother Firefly said...

I suggest getting the kids and watching this and Tentacles for an evening of pure 70's cheesy goodness.

Thomas Duke said...

This movie disgusted me as a kid, what with the actual blob and what I perceived as general cinematic crappiness. Marlene Clark is awesome, though.

Mother Firefly said...

The Blob really freaked me out as a kid; which is kind of weird because it's not like it's that hard to get away from it......all you really have to do it walk - and not even that quickly! I guess it was the idea that if it touched you, you were done for. I do really love the first Blob movie, with its Steve McQueenyness and the whole 'the cops never believe the troublemaking teenagers' bit. Even with that, it does kind of blow my mind that there's been two other films about a gelatinous slow moving mass - with a possible third forthcoming.