Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers - 20th Anniversary of Best Titled Movie Ever?

20 years? How did I manage to go 20 years without ever laying my eyes on this little piece of B-Movie 80's insanity?

The title pretty much tells you everything you need to decide if this the kind of story you want to hear more about. We also have a religious cult, a runaway (played by Linnea Quigley), and the private investigator (complete with cheesy voice over) who stumbles on to the cult while looking for Linnea.

I won't try to pretend that this Fred Olen Ray film is a masterpiece of cinema, but I will point out some of the things that make this movie a fun way to spend your evening. (Although liberal amounts of alcohol wouldn't hurt either)

Fun 80's Hair:
Is that Rod Stewart in drag?

Girls with chainsaws!

Signs in case you get lost:

And even a handy dandy Public Service Announcement:
Always, ALWAYS, protect your black velvet paintings of The King before you engage in chainsaw madness.

And, of course, more blood and boobies than you can shake a stick at!

Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers may not be an epic piece of cinema, but it does go back to a time when people were willing to make a movie and not take themselves so GD seriously. Not that I don't appreciate serious horror - but I also appreciate people who have fun with the genre as well. The quality of the movie, unfortunately, is terrible (there's a disclaimer at the beginning apologizing for that) and I could have done without the cheesy detective voice overs, but overall it's fun and a good example of what cheesy independent horror was like in the 80's.

Also -I have to raise my glass to these women. These ladies look like they're hauling around the real deal in this movie - you can tell by the way they lift and move these suckers (and the amount of smoke) that they were doing it the old fashioned way. Tell me that you'd see any of our A-list (or B-list) actresses of today slinging around a real chainsaw. We'd either get a CGI version or a stunt double.

I also have something to mention that is completely off the subject - but I was reminded of it when I sat down to write this review - as I picked up this DVD (for five bucks, of course!) last year during the biannual Deep Discount DVD sale. For about the last six or seven years, I've bought a fair amount of movies through DDD. Their prices have always been good, they have free shipping, and they're always running sales. I especially look forward to their twice a year 20% off sales (which was actually 25% off the last time). November is one of the times they run it, so I was looking forward to picking up some box sets and a few other films that I didn't want to pay full price for (big surprise there).

I'm also a huge fan of Mystery Science Theater, and I've been collecting the box sets since they started - and I usually buy them during this particular sale at DDD. About a month ago, I logged on to my account to see which set I bought last time, and to see how many sets had come out since then.

I was pretty shocked to find that all the MST3K sets on DDD were over 55 bucks - sets that used to run around 35-38 dollars. Then - a few weeks later when it was time for the sale to start - DDD announced the sale by saying everything was 40% off - and no need for a coupon code this time! Needless to say, 40% off meant that the sets were right around their usual cost - maybe a couple of dollars cheaper, but not even close to the price I'd been paying.

I can't really be mad at DDD for not running the same sale - but what I am pissed about is how they raised all the prices two weeks before the 'sale' - and then announced that everything was 'on sale'. Now that the sale is over with - the sets are varying in price from 36 to 54. Looking at the prices of other movies on my wishlist, some are slightly more expensive - some are cheaper (!)- and some are exactly the same.

I don't know how DDD came up with the 40% off everything - and what prices they starting from before they subtracted 40% off - but I'm really disappointed by what's been one of my favorite places to order movies until recently. But in the last year, I've found myself going with Amazon for better deals. I hope that this company can get it together and be a little more straight forward with their 'sales' and their pricing.

My two cents,
Mother Firefly

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