3 hours ago
Monday, November 2, 2009
It's Time for Something Weird Part II
I said that my 'Something Weird' Post would be part 1 of 2....so here I am to make good on my threat....er, um, promise.
I have to warn you, though.....the films on this double feature makes The Beast of Camp Sunshine look like ....well, an actual movie.
But we don't need much to put monsters and boobies in the same movie, right? And let me assure you, besides those two things, there's not a whole lot else going on in these movies.
In Kiss Me Quick, we have Sterilox - an alien on a mission to take an Earth woman back to his planet. He ends up in the castle of Dr. Breedlove, a scientist who just happens to have a bunch of half naked women go-go dancing and stripping. Thank god for serendipity.
So the movie goes like this: Dr Breedlove shows a 'specimen' to Sterilox - said 'specimen' has a scene with stripping, go-go dancing, or both - and then Sterilox says he's not sure if said 'specimen' will do. Push repeat.
Some of this is kind of amusing in a cheesy and campy kind of way - I found the women doing topless go-go dancing while trying to balance half full beakers of liquid especially funny.
And every once in a while, a monster shows up for fun:
The worst part of the movie? The conversations between Sterilox and Dr. Breedlove. They're annoying as hell and really repetitive. For me, the movie was fun in a campy sort of time-capsule way - but even that got old after twenty minutes.
Movie #2, House on Bare Mountain, actually makes a small attempt to weave a story around the monsters and topless women.
We have Granny Good who runs a school for girls, where we get to see women educated in the best way possible - which evidently involves reading the dictionary topless. She's also got a werewolf for some reason or another:Werewolves are apparently good at making moonshine - or this one is, anyway, because that's what Granny Good's got hers doing.
We also spend an EXTENSIVE amount of time learning about the educational program that Granny has her girls on. It's very well rounded, including an exercise program that involves lots of jumping:
The fine arts:
The end of the movie culminates in a costume party, spiked punch, and the cops trying to bust Granny making moonshine.
One of the undercover cops discovers there's a werewolf in the basement:
How is it that Frankenstein always manages to show up in these movies?
Some of the girls have to make their own costumes.
You get a quarter if you can tell me WHAT IN THE HELL THIS SHIT IS:
(And yes, I promise you, that's the costume she made for the party)
In the end, it isn't a party until Frankenstein is swinging from the rafters:
I'm pretty sure that the Phantom of the Opera put him up to that.
These campy little 'nudie-cutie' films are innocent fun - it's interesting, if nothing else, to see what used to be considered sexy or titillating, and how society's views on that have changed over the years. I enjoyed the other set more, especially The Monster of Camp Sunshine - the whole nudist camp - mutant monster storyline really amused me. All the films are really just vehicles to feature topless women, with the difference being that Beast/Camp Sunshine also extoll the virtues of the nudist camp and how wonderfully free it is to be naked. Kiss/House doesn't have any such pretense - they just want to show you naked women and get them to dance or shower.
Overall, it was fun to watch these movies as a little time capsule of an era gone by. Even though I can't put these movies over as some kind of forgotten classics, I'm still glad that there's a company like SW out there who takes the time to preserve them and package them in a great way. SW always packs their releases full of extras - including short films that go along with the theme of the movies.
Monster a Go-Go,