Wednesday, January 14, 2009

MUST. WATCH. ALL. THE. MOVIES. I CAN.



In continuing with our movie streak of late (while realizing my free evenings in which to attend movies are going to be downsized in a matter of a weeks) and also wanting to see as many possible Oscar nominated movies as possible, myself and Papa Cash took in a couple more films this week.








1. The Something Something about Benjamin Button

I can't be bothered to look up the actual title. Because the people who made this movie couldn't be bothered to actually ENTERTAIN me. So na-nee, movie people.

I will say this movie had a couple of firsts for me - the first time I've seen aging makeup used so effectively, and also the first time I took a break to refill the popcorn and the drink AND ask the counter guy- 'Dude, How LONG is this Benjamin Button movie anyway?' At this point we were past the 90 minute mark and I saw no end in sight. Smart counter dude said something like, 'Oh, it's about two hours...or two hours and something.'
Truer words never spoken my friends, the movie was INDEED two hours and ..something...which very closely approximated to THREE hours.

Now.
My opinions/views on movies that last over 85 minutes have been pretty clearly stated. But I don't whine or bitch when movies are 100, or even 120 minutes.... but when you start creeping up on the 180 minute mark, you better have something fun for me to watch while you start taking away hours of my life that ain't never coming back.
This is how I feel about this movie. I can't possibly ruin anything about it for you. Because-
If you already know that this is a movie where Brad Pitt starts out old and ages backward- then guess what- you know what happens.
You get to sit in a dark theater and watch that happen. For Three Hours.

I suggest a snack. Maybe a couple. A blanket and a pillow.

2. The Unborn

I will say that the Unborn is kind of a hot mess, but it's not without at least some fun aspects and some very creepy film imagery. When I go see a contemporary mainstream horror movie, I pretty much step in the door with very low expectations. I hope to see at least a few creepy images that I need to shake off, and that's about it.

The Unborn actually has quite a few- that are used rather effectively. That's why it's kind of a bummer that they didn't work on their story more - there were quite a few times during this when I kind of saw a good horror movie peeking through there. Unfortunately it didn't last long, and mostly got tripped up by the plot.

I won't list the plot holes here, just to say that some of them are kind of sneaky. At first, you don't realize they don't make sense. But there's this little teeny tiny tickle at the back of your mind....and then five minutes later, you're saying, heyyyyyyyyyy wait just a minute................

3. Appaloosa (Blu-Ray)

I think my inability to enjoy spy (or war) movies might also have something to do with my lack of interest in westerns as well. Or maybe it's just because I have girl parts. Anyway, I usually could give a frig about watching most westerns (except for Tombstone, and who doesn't love TOMBSTONE HELLO)
But I read something about this which made me want to check it out, so I Neflixed it. Ed Harris stars and directs and also co-wrote the screenplay (adapted from another source). Ed and Viggo Mortensen are on the side of the law, and Jeremy Irons is not. Renee Zellweger shows up as a love interest. (Can someone tell me what happened to that woman's FACE? It looks.....odd)
Anyway, it was entertaining.....after Ben what's his face, my standards are low to have something....ANYTHING...happen in a movie....but if you like any of these actors or just westerns in general, I'd check it out.

4. Pan's Labryrinth (Blu-Ray)

I have seen this twice before, once at the Oriental (where Doug Jones showed up and SIGNED MY HELLBOY DVD THAT I HAD STASHED IN MY PURSE OMG)
and once at home, but the 3rd time on Blu-Ray was just was magical and amazing as the first. I can't say how much I love this movie, and I have to nominate Guillermo Del Toro as possibly my favorite director in terms of listening to him talk about his work. (although I'll immediately watch an HG Lewis movie followed by his commentary on the film)
I remember being interested in what he had to say during the extras on Blade II, for crying out loud- and I didn't even know who the dude WAS. He obviously has a lot of insight into what he does and why, and more importantly, he can articulate that extremely well. He needs to write a book. About himself, movies, I don't care, I'll read it.

2 comments:

Jumbo's Lezis said...

Oh, Unborn, sounds like the title makes even more sense now. Imagine all our greatest horror directors dropping seed into a test tube, producing a woman meant only to birth horror films like sci-fi does Saturday night movies. Except these ovaries, when deposited a script, produce nothing more than terror. But once in a while the birth of a movie a few chromo's short of Life Goes On, peaks its oversize dome out that vagina. Before proper actions are taken an over eager director reaches in and pulls that straight to dvd out. I think from now we should name them sequentially, Unborn 1, Unborn 2, Unborn 3, then we know to expect a script done on swiss.

Keep up those reviews

Mother Firefly said...

Haha, if we did that then at least we'd know where some of these dumbass ideas come from....is there any way we can avoid more remakes?