Saturday, January 3, 2009

Happy 2009

Well, it's time for my first post of the New Year...and what better to start off with than your basic blaxpoitation grindhouse possessed by the devil movie??

Exactly what I thought, and that's why my first movie of 2009 is .....


I've actually got a few other movies that I need to review, but none of these movies did I covet as much as my very own copy of this movie.

Let's get on with the evilness, shall we??

Our movie opens with Professor Williams, played by William Marshall (Blacula). His students are giving him a going away party before he goes to Nigeria to research African religion, specificially a god named Eshu, who was supposedly big into sex and violence. His students act like ancient religions are silly but give him a big old cross as a going away present anyway.

While there, he discovers some ceremonial vessel associated with the demon, opens it, and lets the demon loose!

Good going, William Marshall!!!!!

And the demon IMMEDIATELY makes it way to the U.S., where Professor Williams' son Reverend Emmett and his wife Abby are busy moving into their new home and getting ready to do the work of the Lord!

Let's happy, religious couple + one meddling father in law stirring up ancient demonic forces = one possession coming right up!

It's not long before we realize the demon has traveled all the way to the U.S. so it can pick on these two.......and we know this because of the weird noises at night, Abby's cold skin, and a bizarre windy attack in the basement while Abby does laundry.... which for some reason is never mentioned AGAIN......

Hurricane - like winds in my basement in the middle of the day? I'll never tell a soul about this!!!!

Abby gets on with her 'wife of a minister' duties, such as singing in the choir, cooking for the church social, and counseling young married couples in the righteous ways of the Lord. But the New and Improved Abby does everything with a whole new flair, gagging so loudly in church she has to be removed, trying to cut her arm off in the kitchen, and announcing to the young bride that not 'all men are created equal' and she (Abby) will be more than happy to take the groom upstairs for a test ride!

Reverend Emmett happens to walk in on this display, and pulls Abby upstairs to ask her what would possess her.....(haha)....and Abby gladly shows him, by announcing she is going to have her way with the Reverend, throws him down on the bed, and proceeds to bitch slap the shit out of him....
Look Abby.......Spirit Fingers!!!!!

Abby also develops one hell of a potty mouth, using words no good preacher's wife would NEVER even dream of using...

Everyone starts to wonder 'What's wrong with Abby?', and after ten or fifteen minutes of wonderin
g and crying about it, they eventually take her to the hospital for tests. Gee, all the tests are negative and all the doctors can suggest is that Abby is probably mentally ill.

Thanks for calling your mothereffin' FATHER!!!!!

Professor Williams returns home from Nigeria and Abby busts out of the hospital, throwing people and equipment out of her way, with her nurse chasing after her, asking her what's she's doing??? I'm going home, bitch!!!!!!!!!

Dad and Jr. Williams arrive back home, only to find Abby waiting for them smiling and full of hospitality. Turns out Abby just really wanted to be there when Daddy Williams came home......because the demon is just dying for a showdown with the good the Professor let the demon free during the dig in Nigeria....and then the demon LEFT and traveled all the way around the world so it could fight him when he got BACK to the States?
Fine! Whatever, let's just go with it.
Plot holes, schmlot HOLES, BITCH!!!!

Abby warns the Prof that the fight is on and that she'll let him know when she's good and ready to get his ass! And then after breaking out of the hospital so she can be there for his return - she leaves. Yep. So she can go.....

Because this IS the 70's, however. And just as if this movie had taken place in the early 80's, the demon might have went roller skating.....because it is the 7o's, it heads to the disco. The demon even takes the time to call Abby's husband and lets him know that Abby needs to have a good time. What a considerate demon!
Abby hits the club and proceeds to start racking up the notches in her belt...or maybe she's killing them.....all we really know is that she gets them out in the car and shakin' and smokin' ensues......

Abby moves on to other men, and while she's busy, Dad and Jr Williams (along with Abby's brother) have hit the town trying to find her......even showing her, um, picture around town. Apparently Abby hadn't bothered to have her picture taken, oh, in about TWENTY-FIVE YEARS....

Excuse me, have you seen this four year old?

Eventually the gang track Abby down and confront her, which leads to more swearing, fighting, threats, and eventually William Marshall in a magical dashiki!
Which can only mean one thing.....It's Exorcism Time!!!

And if you've ever seen any movie with a possessed person in it EVER, you have a pretty good idea of how the last fifteen minutes of this movie play out......scary deep voices, foreign languages, floating, chanting, foaming at the mouth, invoking the name of God......oh and don't forget the part where the demon pretends to be the unpossessed person for a few minutes and swears 'they're all right now....'

But our plucky trio continues in the name of Jehovah and eventually they drive the demon out of Abby and back into the box from whence it came....

and then Abby and Emmett celebrate by going on a vacation!

And that, my friends, is the wonder known as ABBY.

I heart this little oddity of a film. I saw it for the first time a few years ago at a horror convention, where I also heard the story of its legal woes. Apparently it came out after The Exorcist and the makers of THAT film felt Abby was too close to their film and successfully sued to keep the film out of theaters. Which is kind of funny now- besides the lead character being possessed by a demon, the movies are fairly different. I have a feeling the producers of The Exorcist just had more money and power behind them and wanted to prevent this movie from taking money from them in some markets.

I loved this movie and have waited about five years for a copy of it- there was a bootleg available from some online retailers but I heard the quality was horrible. Then in October I found out that a new version was due out in November- it was a double feature with a movie called Magdalena. I am sorry to report that the quality of this film is TERRIBLE......and I don't know if they're even able to make a better in the meantime a crappy version of Abby will have to be better than no version at all. I do hope that someday this film can be restored and we can see it as it was intended......

-Mother Firefly

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